Ongoing as always

Today I got a call from my daughter's MD's office.  She lad a CBC and CMP done about 2 weeks ago when she came down with pneumonia (which of course she had to share with me).  Her T4 is 13.5

We have to do a Thyroid panel now. 

This would explain many things unless it is elevated from the bacterial infection, which it could be, but her white count was normal. 

 So, bully us.  I take her for labs tomorrow afternoon.  We talked about the lab draw today on the way to ballet class.  Zbug says "I am afraid of the dark and IVs"  I reminded her it's only a lab draw, not an IV.  She calls it a shot.  She can point out what veins are good- lol.  She likes to pretend she gives me shots.  I have to show her the correct place on the arm cuz she'd get me on my wrist- that would be painful.

We finally got word from PRC that Bub's augmentive communication device should be here in 2-3 weeks.

I started the process of getting this thing on Dec 10th of last year.  I bet a bent penny we will get it on Dec 10th (a Thursday).

Both kiddos have glasses now.

(Imagine pictures of my kids until either Chrome lets me access google sites or Explorer lets me upload images)

I am back to working Nights again.

Yeah, it keeps going that way.

Froggie in my house

A few days ago, Joe and I -finally- got the yard mowed.  We haven't mowed it since late June.  We were going to mow it in early July, but my bout w/ kidney stones stopped that, then we were going to mow in mid-to-late july, but then my schedule didn't give us enough time to get it done and have one of us not asleep for child-duty (me), then we were going to do it in early August, but then West Nile Virus was rampant in our area (well, not super rampant, but several confirmed cases in our county), so FINALLY we got it done this week.

While mowing the meter high weeds near the back of the house, Joe discovered lots of little lizards and frogs. And being Joe, he brought one inside to show Zbug

"WTH?!?!"

"MUST ESCAPE"

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little Frog too!"

So after boinging around the house w/ Zbug in hot pursuit, I finally made Joe recapture the little Froggy and set it free.

Now, go out and eat all the ookie bugs Froggy!

Nubs

not-cation

sorry, I've been kinda down, and kinda tired, and kinda overworked (by choice).  kinda had Bub throwing toys at me.  Kinda had family stuff to do.  Kinda felt like my life is being sucked out.

Joe's in the same "kinda" mode...only he doesn't leave the house to be overworked, he's overworked IN the house and leaves the house to relax.  I try to not leave the house if I don't have to work.

I've been really bummed out.  pretty much have been operating on: work, pass out, spend an hour with the kids while I try to wake up, work, rinse-repeat.

Yesterday Joe convinced me I need to leave the house, and the kids were bouncing off the walls *really*  so we got chinese buffet, Bub picked nuggets, shrimpies, fries, and an egg roll.  and grapes.  and jello.  Zbug was stealing Bub's jello.  Zbug wouldn't eat her ice cream.  Zbug only ate the jello and some grapes (also stolen from Bub).  I think Bub's shrimpies had milk in the coating bc Bub started the "inappropriate laughter" routine while we stopped in at payless to get Joe some tennis shoes and Zbug a new pair of  "Pretty" shoes, and the only pair that currently fits is her tennis shoes that light up.  while she greatly enjoys her flashy shoes, it doesn't really go well with her Sunday dresses.  so after sizing her (I worked shoes in HS, so I do this myself since sales-people and my offspring do not mix well)  I found several "pretty" and pink-colored shoes and laid them out for Z to examine.  she was torn between a pair of Disney(c) sandals that lit up.....some glitter shoes and then the new shoes that she picked......

Rejected by Zber

Rejected glitters

Dorothy Gale shoes rejected *sniff*

Her brand new "PRETTY!!!" shoes.

Crap. I just noticed, Why are all the model shoes size 7????

So the feeling I get about my youngest is that she likes pretty girly stuff, but it better be functional, tough, and easy to put on.

Bub got nothing except mommy drag-pulling-carrying him out of the store as he tried to put shoelaces up his nose while laughing   Joe and Zbug completed the purchase.  we got home, and both kiddos were put to bed.  Zbug slept in her new shoes despite my repeated attempts to sneak in and remove them.  Joe thinks this is funny as he accuses me of being a "shoe-girl".

I was a "shoe-girl" once, but I have like 4 pairs now...(excepting my work shoes) and they are all over 4 years old....one pair is around 15years old since it predates Joe.  Maybe I am a shoe-girl since I still own them.......but they are really cool....

Despite the lack of new shoes for Bub yesterday,  my son was HUGELY happy with the set of Hanes(c) Boxer-briefs I bought him this morning.  so happy that he pee'd on the floor enough times to be able to wear each pair today, thus modeling each color and "breaking them in" simultaneously.



yayee me.



Joe is currently out at the health club working off some steam, which will be followed by a round of beer at the local wetting hole with some buddies.  all that male-bonding stuff or something since there are no coffee-houses here with random jazz/poetry sessions for him to attend....(that gen-x stuff....)

I however will find my trusty benedryl and snuggle up with that.  In rock-paper-scissors, benedryl beats coffee.  I have yet to find anyone to argue otherwise.

nub

words of the week

Zbug is starting to have the vocabulary explosion. Her new word that I am pushing  "please"...but she says /pa-layeea/  kinda...I am trying to get it phonically right in my description of her...but it has been nearly 20 years since I took linguistics...so forgive my excesses in my description of her cute attempts at pronunciation.  lol

Also cute from her is:  "Aye-min" after we pray,  "di-purrrr" when I tell her it's time to chop down the Zber tree, and "You Momma" but refusing to say her own name.  I also especially like hearing "NOOOO! No Nap!"  cuz it's funny when I tease her about it, but I really do wish she would just say "yes" to a nap every other day or so.

Too tire to share more.  loves to all.  :)

Bub had her beat by 11 months: Autism learning?

Last nite, while I was at work...changing teeney-tiny poopie diapers, mind you...My Zbug discovered how to get out of her crib by herself & sneak up on daddy to deliver a mini-heart-attack surprise.  plus before she came out to scare daddy, she pulled down a dress from a hanger and played "dress-up pretty".

Bub figured out how to crawl fall out of his crib at 13 months.  Z learned to do it 2 days b4 she turned 2.  So what does that mean?   was it that Bub is more physically driven to learn and perfect certain physical tasks as quickly as possible, or that Z's learning is more faceted than Bub's was and she focuses on multiple tasks that are completed at a slower rate vs Bub who gets "stuck" on a task and does it over and over until he feels he's perfected it, and then keeps doing it after it's perfected because it has now become a ritual?

this learning difference in the two of them has me laughing and sad at the same time.

Bub surprised me today, he came running out of his room naked...which usually means some sort of bodily material has exited his body and is lying in wait for me on his floor..but there wasn't anything on the floor.  so I took him to the bathroom expecting him to pee...cuz he prolly started in his pants stopped when he realized it, and stripped to go...but then got distracted.  So he pees then sits down on the potty and poops!  I am super proud of him.

He got all confused on how to wipe up afterwards....so momma had to help teach that.  yayee me.  (no)

It's so odd how he does things, and his rate of learning.  He will get something for a day, then regress for weeks as if he's "thinking about it", then out of the blue he'll try it again...and again, nothing for a while.  then one day he just "gets" it and then does it the right way almost always after that.  it's so odd, and frustrating to deal with.  Joe hopes verbalization will happen this way.  I'm just happy Bub understands speech and directions.

anyhow.  I'm tired, NICU shifts wipe me out.  It's funny when you consider most NICU babies are under 3lbs and they just kick my a**.  but there it is.

nite...off to make Zbug a birthday cake for her "towe" birthday tomorrow.  :)
Nubs

well, that's another...maybe I should worry.

last week I was put on LOA all three of my shifts.  Thankfully, I was able to pick up one in the NICU, and another at my PRN job.  last night I got LOA'd again, but I will be picking up a shift tonight,...in the NICU.

sigh


Anyhow, I made up Bub's Valentine day party "Bags".  I got all the stuff to have a nice bag for the kids, and then forgot to get bags.  So they are in ziplock baggies.  I swear, I don't mean to be shabby, it just seems to happen.  But I got Bub to give starbursts (one of a few gfcf candies I can buy at a normal store), a valentine day eraser, a valentine stencil/ruler, and a card.  Plus wonderful Hubby Joe signed us up to bring plates, utensils, etc... for the party...last august...and I found out on Friday.  joy.

I hope whoever supplies the cake/cookies supplies something Bub can have, and the other kiddo in the class who is gfcf.  But I doubt it.  I think I will make Bub a treat for at home once Joe takes Zbug to the healthy-hideaway.

nubs

so where is the panic?

So the last three days I have been sitting up all night in my scrubs playing FF13 waiting for a call from work telling me there are enough sick kiddos in the hosp for me to work.  the last three days I have been on call.  Our unit has been on minimal staffing, which means, 1 charge nurse, and one PCT.  that's it.  me and another nurse have been just sitting at home, waiting to find out if we have to go to work or not.

I don't have enough PTO to cover this.

I am not panicking, and I don't know why I am not.  I am continuing to feel listless tho.

I told Joe we would pick up Turbo tax today and I'll do our taxes.  if it's like last year, we should be fine...no new dishwasher after all, cuz that's what we were thinking about getting with our refund.  (FYI- our current dishwasher is called "Nina and Joe"   It would be nice if our current dishwasher was called "Nina, Joe, and Bub", but all Bub does at the sink is play with bubbles and fill up cups with water of varying levels of volume.  ...and giggles.)

we also have to get new shoes for Bub, sometime yesterday he managed to rip the sole off the OUTSIDE of the shoe...we discovered this as he came home w/ a duct-taped foot.  the shoe was somewhere in the duct-tape.  Bub liked his shiny silver shoe and didn't want to take it off.  Z thought it was nice too.  Today Bub is sporting his 6month-ago shoes which thankfully are not TOO small for one day.  I don't think Bub gets PE, so he'll prolly be ok.

I am trying to get Zbug to count to two since she will be that old next week.  I can get her to point w/ one finger.  I can get her to verbalize "two"   (but it sounds more like "Towe")  I can't get her to do both fingers.  Bub gets frustrated with her lack of progress, he has figured out what I am doing.  (!!!!)  and he grabs little Z's hand and tries to make 2 of her fingers point up...which she doesn't like and then starts crying and bapping Bub which then concludes our little lesson for the day. 

Joe continues with his project: a chain-mail duster. (over-coat, trench-coat, whatever you want to call it.)  He shows me his progress everyday.  I can't lift this thing up anymore.  He says he's almost happy with the shoulders and collar.  He's as happy as a clam.  made me look at some clasps he wants to order for it when he's done.    I smile cuz he's happy.

nubs

useful applications of PALS around the home...

so today, Little Z gave momma a retro panic attack.  Why retro?  because I didn't have time to panic during the episode and the Nurse in me kicked into automatic without even thinking...

I made her sausage and fried potatoes for breakfast.  She wasn't really into the potatoes, but she was going nuts on the sausage.  Kept shoving small pieces in her mouth, and then forgot how to swallow correctly.

It was a classic episode of infant choking...hands to the neck, eyes watering, face getting red, no vocal output.  Didn't even blink, just pulled her out of the highchair and started doing the pediatric version of heimlech until there was a lovely spray of half-chewed sausage on the floor and a full volume of crying and wailing. 

after I checked her out and she was all smiles and dimples again, I allowed the panic to emerge.

anyone with small children:  take the time to learn Child & Infant CPR.  it is worth the small fee and day in a classroom setting to have the knowledge and instant reaction to a situation that could be absolutely heartbreaking.

Nubs.

she must have some sharp incisors...

So I'm helping Bub make orange koolaid.  even tho he won't hold up just 3 fingers when I ask him how many is three he stops getting more sugar after putting three 1/4 c. sugar into the pitcher.  I think I can safely assume he DOES in fact understand the concept of "how many is three"  (small flashback to the song on sesame street where the baker drops all his pastries over himself as he walks down the stairs...seriously...why would you carry 12 banana cream pies down a flight of stairs all by yourself?!?!?)song of three

Anyhow....While I'm adding the water Z comes over to see the action.  I didn't actually see this, but this is my interpretation of what happened, because I turned around to a double scream and Bub holding his pointer finger out like it hurt....

I think Bub decided to be naughty and stick his finger in Z's mouth.  Z has had enough of Bub sticking his finger in her mouth, and bit down.  hard. 

Bub's crying, Z is looking confused and I am trying so hard not to laugh, spill the koolaid, and call for Joe to come over and help, and stop Bub before he starts hitting someone or something with his hurt finger because that's what he does when he's hurting.

I fail at not laughing.

I succeed in keeping Bub from hitting people or things.   Bub is mad at me for laughing, but then decides to laugh bc Momma laughing is pretty funny.  (at least I don't snork when I laugh...)

Oh the joys of my kiddos...

My coffee gets stolen every day

My kiddo's are little coffee-grubbers.  They don't go after Joe's coffee very often, mainly mine.  Prolly cuz I put Silk and sugar in mine, and Joe prefers his black, mainly.

I get me a cup and sit on the couch, first comes Z pretending she wants a hug, but really she's just sidling up to sneak my spoon and then try to sneak out coffee w/ the spoon.  Then Bub realizes I have coffee.  He doesn't even try to be sneaky.  He just grabs the cup, giggles and takes a few swigs.

It's a good thing I don't drink beer.  lol

Joe has found a solution to the red permanent marker Bub decorated his walls with.  It comes off if you rub Shout Stain Stick on it and let it sit overnite.  It wipes off w/ a wet rag.  I tried everything on it, Magic Erasers, nail polish remover, scary recipes I found on the internet and Pintrest...use the stain stick.  I would have never guessed.  Joe is amazing.

Must go, I work tonight, and I'm going back to a wonder winterland of RSV+

Nubs.

As I wrote this, Bub snuck in the kitchen and poured out half a bottle of Dawn on the floor.  Mr. Man is now washing the kitchen floor since he has to clean it up anyway.  Sad part, he's still laughing as he's scrubbing the floor.  How can we really be mad about it?  :)

She sleeps all nite now

If I haven't mentioned it yet (I get this and my FB postings confused sometimes), Joe and I converted our overlarge walkin closet into Zbear's new room.  It is awesome.  She doesn't wake up around 3-4am anymore because either Joe or I snorked loudly in our sleep (to be honest...it's prolly ME that wakes her up...I am a wrecking ball when I sleep....Joe occasionally has to run away to the couch cuz I'm all over the place....)

Well, she just loves her new room, she likes to play in there by herself...Bub keeps trying to sneak into her room and steal the toys we have decided to make exclusively for Zbear.  Bub has toys he WILL NOT SHARE.  EVER.  TOUCH ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE HIT.  yeah.  yayee autism OCD rituals based on toys.  Joe and I want to be equitable w/ our kids.  We will never be fair.  It will always be impossible to be fair when their needs and levels of expectations will always be SO incredibly different. (I will not kid myself about the differences in my kids...not gonna do it...)  So to be equitable, we have decided Z will have 2 or 3 toys that stay in her room, and that Bub can't play with unless she brings it out of her room for him to play with.


Now this resolve is kinda hard, because Bub and Z are starting to enjoy the same kinds of toys, but in different ways.  Bub still really enjoys toys appropriate for 18+ months, but then he also enjoys toys appropriate for his our age group (7 y/o), but he still has some toys from when he was 2 y/o that he will not let go...they are too important to him, the elaborations he sets up with them are too ingrained into his self-ness, I have replaced these toys several times w/ exact replicas as they got loved-on too hard (or covered in poo...sometimes cleaning is not a viable option.....)  So he's grabbing her age appropriate toys and doing his elaboration thing with them, Z is not getting what he is doing and does her deconstructionist act on his elaboration which then ends in multiple kids crying, small toddlers being picked up haphazardly and bounced on the couch, and a 7 y/o banging some portion of his body against the wall.   We like to avoid these activities when possible....  So we pretty much keep special toys in the appropriate rooms and have only generic non-attachment formed toys out in the living room and attempt to keep the siblings out of the other's room.  Not an easy task.  Sometimes Bub wants Z in his room, but then he changes him mind abruptly and she gets upset when he's pushing her out.

we stay busy while they are awake....can you tell?  But so far the new room for Z is working out splendidly.  We have a child-free bedroom once more and are pretty happy about it.

Happy December!  Nubs

Amazing Day, thank you Hartley Family.

Today Joe & I struggled w/ whether or not to brave a church service, and then if we did, what church to go to.  We have been struggling with this for a few months for various reasons, one of which that we publicly acknowledge is that the standard 10-11am service start times really wreck havoc on Zber's nap and the rest of our day is that much harder...and as I have stated before, Sundays are typically hard.

Anyhow, we decided to suck it up and go to our "home" church, mainly because I didn't feel up to being in "make new friends while struggling w/ my run-away son" mode.  it gets hard.  I have to be super cheery to do it.  I'm not super cheery lately.  so we get to church, Zber makes a dash for the nursery...what?  She really wanted to be in the nursery.  who am I to argue w/ my child when she gets a stubborn streak surpassing only her father's?  fine, the lady in the nursery is wonderful, and just loves Zber, so one less distraction to deal w/ while dealing w/ Bub.  I get asked if I want another cat.  ????  no.   Then I get into the sanctuary and note it is set up for a concert.  My whole soul drops to the bottom of my feet.  Bub does not deal w/ loud music well.  Grandma and Grandpa aren't here.  I prepare to leave within 5 min of the music starting.  I hate doing that.  I gear myself up for this, and I will be leaving almost as soon as I get there.

Here is the amazing part:  It was a family that played bluegrass.  Bub was completely mesmerized by this family and their music.  He sat the whole time and listened.  no fussing.  no screaming.  no trying to run away.  He wanted to hold both Joe and my hands.  He wanted me to help him clap in time w/ the music.  He clapped between the songs all by himself w/o any prompting that it was time to clap.

We gave them a large (for us) donation.

I was teary eyed watching Bub enjoy himself so much.

I am a sap.

The music itself was very inspirational.

I need to trust more that God is giving me the right directions, even when I don't feel up to following them and I'm dragging my feet.

After the service I brought Bub up to the leader of the family (the dad) and told him that Bub has never liked live music and has never sat thru an entire service w/o fussing, and that he loved the music so much.  I asked Bub to say "Thank you", and Bub signed "Thank you" and shook his hand.  He asked if Bub was deaf, and I had to explain that Bub has autism, and that he can hear and understand fine, he just can't/won't talk *we're still trying to decide that one*.  He gave us a CD, but I had Joe put some extra cash in the CD donation box.
If you can inspire my son that much, I will throw money at you.  Even tho I'm mostly broke.

If you get a chance check out their website....  The Hartley Family

As always Joe and I got into a "mock" argument about whether or not bluegrass is country.  My stand is that it isn't...bluegrass is to country as dixie is to jazz.    Joe laughed at me.  I know he thinks he's right.  I'll let him think it if it makes him happy, cuz right now...I am super happy.

Nubs.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year is a year to be thankful about.  Zber is slowly beginning to verbalize, she now will "Moo" with me, and we are still hearing "up" and "no" and "byebye"  Bub is able to write his entire alphabet and 1-20 all by himself w/o any prompting.  Joe has started designing again, and I have a new job in a pediatric unit.

We are going to Grandma Dorlaine's and Grandpa Ken's for Thanksgiving lunch in a little bit. My contribution is broccoli salad and a dairy-free version of Chocolate trufle pie.  One of the BEST chocolate pies I ever had, thank you to Lindy Loo from "Yeah, that Vegan Shit".  but although we are not vegan (at all) vegan recipes are the best for us to use for deserts for Bub's food allergy to all and any milk products.

so I am off to shower and wake zber from her nap (she has been enormously crabby today).  Love you all, and God Bless us all!

Nubs

So, Joe tells me the kids drove him crazy today while I was at work.  I believe him.  They are both still awake and protesting bedtime.  Z goes to bed at 6:30 normally, Bub is in bed by 7pm.  it is 8:30 right now.  I just changed Z's wet diaper and rocked and sang to her.  She wouldn't settle down, and kept trying to play peekaboo, and pulling off my glasses.  Momma said, "no ma'am"  and put her back in bed. I also fed them before I put them to bed, as Joe didn't realize the pork chops I prepared (uncooked) was intended for him to pop in the oven to cook to feed the family for dinner.

This working days is not working well for me. My kids get hyper when they finally get to see me, right before the go to bed.  hyper and bedtime are not a good mix.

Bub started crying when he heard me get home.  I have no idea why.  then after lots of hugs and kisses, he got hyper that I was home.  after eating he got even more hyper.  he started settling down after we did his bedtime routine, but he is still up.  I hear him playing w/ his "Leapfrog refrigerator DJ" toy (previously referred to as "anni-oo" d/t song #3 on the alphabet 'channel'). He hums along w/ the songs.  his favorites are '20 little leapfrogs', 'Birdie bye bye', and 'the Uppercase letter song'.  He used to love 'Anni-oo' and drew pictures of the little guy dancing the "anni-oo" until momma started singing the song all the time and getting him to do the 'Anni-oo' dance with me.  Now when I ask him to play "anni-oo" he giggles and plays every OTHER song on this thing. 

anyhow.  long day.  I have 1 day off and then 2 more on.  I hope 1 day with momma is enough for the kids to be ok w/ no momma for 2. 

Nite & Nubs.

it's better today, kinda...

well, the dishes are done, most of the laundry is cleaned and put away thanks to Joe's helpfulness this morning.  Unfortunately the brakes on our car did something bad last nite while Joe was coming back from his nite with the boys.  No accidents or anything, but he's at Sears right now attempting to get them fixed.  Bub is at grandma's, and Zber is chillin w/ me, half watching TV and half playing w/ sidewalk chalk.  (alright...really she's kinda EATING the chalk everytime I turn my back....guess I'll be getting out some miralax for her tonight to counter the extra Ca2...puff)


I made Yabluchnyk this morning (Ukrainian Apple Cake), and we have 3 pieces left.  Bub kept sneaking off w/ apple slices while I was doing all the prep work.  I discovered that my egg-cutter also is wonderful for slicing peeled apples into uniform slices...and that Bub is able to help me cut apples now w/o my having to worry if he will slice off his fingers.  Yayee, one more thing I can let Bub help me with in the kitchen!!!

Little Kitty Masquerade and Zber tussle like puppies, and Bub gets concerned/jealous of/for Zber and splits them up which ends in massive Zber crying.  I tell Joe that I have no idea how he does it every day and that YES I WILL get him a membership to the fitness center associated w/ my new job....esp since it has free day-care while you work out and they have no issues/limitations with us bringing our son w/ non-verbal autism.  well...at this time they have no issues with it....that may change after a few times we visit with him....sigh,


Must dash.  Nubs all today.  :)

Bub did it for two days in a row

That's right.  My Bub has pooped in the potty 2 days in a row.  I am speechless.  he did it on his own.  no prompting from either Joe or I.  Both times it was during his pre-bed-time bath.  I guess he's finally connecting the urge to go with the actual action of pooping.  I am so excited about this.

When we were first going thru adjusting to Bub's diagnosis of autism, there actually was a support group in the area (it's non-existent now)  there were parents and grandparents there that had older kids/young adults with varying levels of ability.  Most of them tried to reassure me that potty training *probably* would happen since Bub has a fairly high level of functioning, and that pretty much it would be around 7 y/o.

At the time, Bub was barely 3, and my heart was falling...4 more years of diapers...if I'm LUCKY??!?!!??!!!!

sometimes, what is said to bring hope will crush the soul of the recipient.  Yeah, that was pretty soul crushing.

but it seems that they were pretty dead on.  I wonder why 7 seems to be the magic number that people told me to expect positive changes.  I have had several people tell me that.  it's odd, and getting harder and harder to dismiss.  Today in addition to the previously mentioned accomplishment, I walked into his room and found him writing his alphabet on a dry-erase board with a washable marker. (the door was closed so no Z-marker incident)  He gets to S on his own now (usually), after "s" he does a row of "H" (all capitals, no lowercase "h") then resumes the alphabet at "U". (I think this is a type of 'elaboration')  He's getting much better with remembering "M"s point down, and "W"s point up.  He's not mixing them up as often anymore.  He is still having some hard times distinguishing between "S" and "5" tho...but then my "5" look like "S" half the time, so peh.

As for my Zber, she is beginning potty training too.  She now knows to pee when we sit her on the potty.  And she is ALL over putting TP in the potty and pulling the flush.  She loves flushing the toilet.  she also loves throwing toys in the toilet if she manages to sneak in there when we are looking...but so far, nothing has gotten stuck, and we have not needed to call a plumber or our landlord. *whew*

She is starting to join in on the hand-movements for itsy-bitsy spider now.  not everytime, but enough to make this mommy all teary eyed thinking about it. (Bub has yet to join in yet...ever.)

nite all.  one more day off and then the next 2 days of my unit orientation (Yayee).

Nubs

Phone conversations w/ my Hubby while I'm at work

Me- Hi hon, how are you?
Joe- I'm ok now.
Me- How are the kids?
Joe- we're not talking about that.
Me- Oh sh*t, what did Bub do?
Joe- not talking about it.
Me- you need to tell me what he did.
Joe- Well, he wouldn't listen to anything I would tell him, Zber managed to pull off her pants and diaper in her crib and everything was wet and he kept sneaking in to jump on the bed while I was trying to clean her up-
Me- what?  didn't you put zber in a zip-up jammy?
Joe- no, I just used the dora ones from last night.
Me- but you know she did the same thing last nite...
Joe- I just grabbed it cuz it was there.
Me- ok....so what next.
Joe- I made him take a time-out in his room, and when I came back his pants were off and there was a streak of poo across the whole room.
Me- so he had a defiant poo.
Joe- yep.
Me- I'm sorry babe.
Joe- me too.


Ten years ago, I would have never believed this was my life....now, this is my "normal"

be kind to parents w/ special needs kids.  :)

Sundays can really suck...

The worst day in our house is typically Sat or Sunday.  Esp if Joe or I or both of us are sickly on either of those two days.  See...This is how it is btwn all of us....  I worked hard during the week and want to chill out and recoup from my job...Joe worked hard during the week and wants to chill out from the kids.  Bub had a hard week at school being in a disciplined scheduled and wants to not listen to anyone at any time to chill out from the week, Zber is super excited to have everybody home at the same time so She won't sleep during nap-time and insists on waking up at 3am to ensure all the playtime with us all she can cram in to a brief 48 hr period.

I had a mandatory vaccine in my rt deltoid on Friday for my new job.  Seriously...my arm is STILL killing me and I had what felt like a 3-day hangover all Friday and Saturday.  Joe had digestive issues all last nite and today...so he wanted (and did) to hide out in bed out of misery.  Bub wanted to poo on the floor a lot today...at least 3 times just today.  He really hates it when I scrub his fingernails...but like I tell him..."If you are going to touch it, I'm going to scrub it...I see you eat...you forget to use your fork sometimes!!!!"   Zber found a piece either Joe or I missed.  I threw up in my mouth a little...which is odd since I deal with a lot of poo at work too.  Maybe it was because she's my baby...I don't know...either way, puke in the mouth is just not a happy kind of thing.

But back to the vaccine thing...if one little vaccine can eff me up, I who am....(let's be kind...) ...rubinesque...imagine how it can eff up a little baby...and they want to do up to 9 different ones at once?  not to my babies...and not in Texas.  YEA for my philosophical right to refuse!!!  I'm an adult, and it made me have one of the worst head-aches of my life...and you're telling me it won't damage a baby's neurologic tissues?  I'll give the shots, but I sure won't let my babies have them on any one else's time frame but MINE!


grrrr......

anxiety attack

I have my "Mystery meeting" tomorrow.   Out of no where around 1pm today, I had a minor panic attack.  I haven't had a panic attack since before Bub was born.  The last one was when I was in EC, and my  Idiot  boss was railing on me for something...I don't even remember what it was about... and I just started hyperventilating and crying hysterically at the same time.  not fun.  I'm surprised he didn't call 911 with what a mess I must have been.
Today was nothing so dramatic.  Just some heart palpations that would best be described as "lurches" and a slight increase to my resp. rate accompanied by the typical thoughts you get when facing these kinds of meetings. I'll be fine.  I already gave myself the Stuart Smalley peptalk in front of my mirror today and Joe has been wonderfully kind, agreeing with me to screw going grocery shopping today, and then not laughing at me when I decided to go 30 min later.  But that's really me in a nutshell, yeah?  I talk all blustery and rebellious, and then cave in and do the right thing after I'm left alone and calm down a bit. 

Shopping sucked as it always did.  I had to buy specialty items that I normally don't because they last so long.  For example: Ground Cardamom was effin $10 for a flipping McCormick spice bottle size.  WHAT?!?  It's not like I'm buying lark-tongues or saffron.  Diapers were upmarked this week, and that bummed me out, so I'm going to have to shop around to get Zber's butt-covers at a decent price. THANK YOU LORD that Bub no longer wears pull-ups and uses the toilet to pee into.  Now...if we could just do something about the frequency of poo getting into the toilet instead of the floor, I would be ever so happy....


Nubs.

Doctor visit x2 kiddos

Random Bub elaboration

We did it. We took both kiddos to the doctor at the same time yesterday.

It was and wasn't a nightmare...if you know what I mean...

Highlights:
- Bub stood on the scale all by himself w/o freaking out.  (95 percentile)
- Bub allowed himself to be measured for height
- Zber is nearly 25 lbs and is at 45 percentile for her age (no more underweight concerns!!!!)
- Zber had no issues with her exam
- Doctor gave me NO problems when I asked for a referral to ECI for Zber
- Doctor gave me no "vaccines are important" speech since we decided to skip vaccines this visit

Nightmare moments:
- Bub's ears getting checked (ie- pinning him down amidst loud screaming)
- Bub attempting a great escape from the exam room
- Bub throwing himself off the exam table
- Explaining Bub's special diet to the new nurse
- The nurse doing the initial exam of the kids telling me she wanted to get a job at my facility.....
- Almost forgetting to get a Doctor's note for Bub's school
- Ensuring that they removed ALL traces of medicaid for Bub's coverage...since we don't qualify for it anymore...

So, after we had to get the kids home and fed b4 we could take Bub back to school, he missed his lunch during the appointment.  Thankfully that went well, I tried to stay up until 6pm but passed out in front of the PC watching season 2 of "South Park"  Which is pretty good considering I had been awake for 26 hours by then.  At some random point Joe woke me up for a return call from the "Mystery submission" and I have a meeting about it on Tuesday.

Then this morning I forgot I had a work function and didn't remember until 2 hours after it started.  However, since I am an RN, not a LVN, I am already certified/authorized to do the procedure this training was on, I think it will be ok...but I would have liked to have a refresher on it, so I'm still kicking myself in the butt about forgetting....but to be fair, we were woken up at 5:30 by Bub pounding on the door which scared Zber who then started crying her head off....and Joe was feeling poorly and I was/am still wiped out from my Thursday-friday day, so my head was not where it usually needs to be.

I've been very lazy today.  I did do the dishes, and fed the kids at appropriate times, and gave the kids their baths...so I guess I did what I needed to do.

We got a new kitten yesterday.  We ended up having to give Gunk away to another home because he did not like Zber...he kept spitting at her and acting like he was going to bite her face off.  He's [Gunk] very happy now and has a new cat friend.  I'm glad for that.  This new kitten has 6 toes on each paw, is black and white and is SO mellow around the kids.  Bub is very happy and is learning to pet her softly, Zber hasn't figured out that tails are NOT for grabbing and pulling yet.  we put up the baby-gate in front of the laundry room so the kitten can come and go as she pleases.  Bub wants to play with the kitty litter.  I try not to gag when I find Bub in there doing just that.  If he wasn't before, Bub is now an expert at hand-washing techniques, Nurse style....lol