If I haven't mentioned it yet (I get this and my FB postings confused sometimes), Joe and I converted our overlarge walkin closet into Zbear's new room. It is awesome. She doesn't wake up around 3-4am anymore because either Joe or I snorked loudly in our sleep (to be honest...it's prolly ME that wakes her up...I am a wrecking ball when I sleep....Joe occasionally has to run away to the couch cuz I'm all over the place....)
Well, she just loves her new room, she likes to play in there by herself...Bub keeps trying to sneak into her room and steal the toys we have decided to make exclusively for Zbear. Bub has toys he WILL NOT SHARE. EVER. TOUCH ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE HIT. yeah. yayee autism OCD rituals based on toys. Joe and I want to be equitable w/ our kids. We will never be fair. It will always be impossible to be fair when their needs and levels of expectations will always be SO incredibly different. (I will not kid myself about the differences in my kids...not gonna do it...) So to be equitable, we have decided Z will have 2 or 3 toys that stay in her room, and that Bub can't play with unless she brings it out of her room for him to play with.
Now this resolve is kinda hard, because Bub and Z are starting to enjoy the same kinds of toys, but in different ways. Bub still really enjoys toys appropriate for 18+ months, but then he also enjoys toys appropriate for his our age group (7 y/o), but he still has some toys from when he was 2 y/o that he will not let go...they are too important to him, the elaborations he sets up with them are too ingrained into his self-ness, I have replaced these toys several times w/ exact replicas as they got loved-on too hard (or covered in poo...sometimes cleaning is not a viable option.....) So he's grabbing her age appropriate toys and doing his elaboration thing with them, Z is not getting what he is doing and does her deconstructionist act on his elaboration which then ends in multiple kids crying, small toddlers being picked up haphazardly and bounced on the couch, and a 7 y/o banging some portion of his body against the wall. We like to avoid these activities when possible.... So we pretty much keep special toys in the appropriate rooms and have only generic non-attachment formed toys out in the living room and attempt to keep the siblings out of the other's room. Not an easy task. Sometimes Bub wants Z in his room, but then he changes him mind abruptly and she gets upset when he's pushing her out.
we stay busy while they are awake....can you tell? But so far the new room for Z is working out splendidly. We have a child-free bedroom once more and are pretty happy about it.
Happy December! Nubs
Showing posts with label elaborations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elaborations. Show all posts
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Monday, November 07, 2011
Bub did it for two days in a row
That's right. My Bub has pooped in the potty 2 days in a row. I am speechless. he did it on his own. no prompting from either Joe or I. Both times it was during his pre-bed-time bath. I guess he's finally connecting the urge to go with the actual action of pooping. I am so excited about this.
When we were first going thru adjusting to Bub's diagnosis of autism, there actually was a support group in the area (it's non-existent now) there were parents and grandparents there that had older kids/young adults with varying levels of ability. Most of them tried to reassure me that potty training *probably* would happen since Bub has a fairly high level of functioning, and that pretty much it would be around 7 y/o.
At the time, Bub was barely 3, and my heart was falling...4 more years of diapers...if I'm LUCKY??!?!!??!!!!
sometimes, what is said to bring hope will crush the soul of the recipient. Yeah, that was pretty soul crushing.
but it seems that they were pretty dead on. I wonder why 7 seems to be the magic number that people told me to expect positive changes. I have had several people tell me that. it's odd, and getting harder and harder to dismiss. Today in addition to the previously mentioned accomplishment, I walked into his room and found him writing his alphabet on a dry-erase board with a washable marker. (the door was closed so no Z-marker incident) He gets to S on his own now (usually), after "s" he does a row of "H" (all capitals, no lowercase "h") then resumes the alphabet at "U". (I think this is a type of 'elaboration') He's getting much better with remembering "M"s point down, and "W"s point up. He's not mixing them up as often anymore. He is still having some hard times distinguishing between "S" and "5" tho...but then my "5" look like "S" half the time, so peh.
As for my Zber, she is beginning potty training too. She now knows to pee when we sit her on the potty. And she is ALL over putting TP in the potty and pulling the flush. She loves flushing the toilet. she also loves throwing toys in the toilet if she manages to sneak in there when we are looking...but so far, nothing has gotten stuck, and we have not needed to call a plumber or our landlord. *whew*
She is starting to join in on the hand-movements for itsy-bitsy spider now. not everytime, but enough to make this mommy all teary eyed thinking about it. (Bub has yet to join in yet...ever.)
nite all. one more day off and then the next 2 days of my unit orientation (Yayee).
Nubs
When we were first going thru adjusting to Bub's diagnosis of autism, there actually was a support group in the area (it's non-existent now) there were parents and grandparents there that had older kids/young adults with varying levels of ability. Most of them tried to reassure me that potty training *probably* would happen since Bub has a fairly high level of functioning, and that pretty much it would be around 7 y/o.
At the time, Bub was barely 3, and my heart was falling...4 more years of diapers...if I'm LUCKY??!?!!??!!!!
sometimes, what is said to bring hope will crush the soul of the recipient. Yeah, that was pretty soul crushing.
but it seems that they were pretty dead on. I wonder why 7 seems to be the magic number that people told me to expect positive changes. I have had several people tell me that. it's odd, and getting harder and harder to dismiss. Today in addition to the previously mentioned accomplishment, I walked into his room and found him writing his alphabet on a dry-erase board with a washable marker. (the door was closed so no Z-marker incident) He gets to S on his own now (usually), after "s" he does a row of "H" (all capitals, no lowercase "h") then resumes the alphabet at "U". (I think this is a type of 'elaboration') He's getting much better with remembering "M"s point down, and "W"s point up. He's not mixing them up as often anymore. He is still having some hard times distinguishing between "S" and "5" tho...but then my "5" look like "S" half the time, so peh.
As for my Zber, she is beginning potty training too. She now knows to pee when we sit her on the potty. And she is ALL over putting TP in the potty and pulling the flush. She loves flushing the toilet. she also loves throwing toys in the toilet if she manages to sneak in there when we are looking...but so far, nothing has gotten stuck, and we have not needed to call a plumber or our landlord. *whew*
She is starting to join in on the hand-movements for itsy-bitsy spider now. not everytime, but enough to make this mommy all teary eyed thinking about it. (Bub has yet to join in yet...ever.)
nite all. one more day off and then the next 2 days of my unit orientation (Yayee).
Nubs
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Doctor visit x2 kiddos
 |
| Random Bub elaboration |
It was and wasn't a nightmare...if you know what I mean...
Highlights:
- Bub stood on the scale all by himself w/o freaking out. (95 percentile)
- Bub allowed himself to be measured for height
- Zber is nearly 25 lbs and is at 45 percentile for her age (no more underweight concerns!!!!)
- Zber had no issues with her exam
- Doctor gave me NO problems when I asked for a referral to ECI for Zber
- Doctor gave me no "vaccines are important" speech since we decided to skip vaccines this visit
Nightmare moments:
- Bub's ears getting checked (ie- pinning him down amidst loud screaming)
- Bub attempting a great escape from the exam room
- Bub throwing himself off the exam table
- Explaining Bub's special diet to the new nurse
- The nurse doing the initial exam of the kids telling me she wanted to get a job at my facility.....
- Almost forgetting to get a Doctor's note for Bub's school
- Ensuring that they removed ALL traces of medicaid for Bub's coverage...since we don't qualify for it anymore...
So, after we had to get the kids home and fed b4 we could take Bub back to school, he missed his lunch during the appointment. Thankfully that went well, I tried to stay up until 6pm but passed out in front of the PC watching season 2 of "South Park" Which is pretty good considering I had been awake for 26 hours by then. At some random point Joe woke me up for a return call from the "Mystery submission" and I have a meeting about it on Tuesday.
Then this morning I forgot I had a work function and didn't remember until 2 hours after it started. However, since I am an RN, not a LVN, I am already certified/authorized to do the procedure this training was on, I think it will be ok...but I would have liked to have a refresher on it, so I'm still kicking myself in the butt about forgetting....but to be fair, we were woken up at 5:30 by Bub pounding on the door which scared Zber who then started crying her head off....and Joe was feeling poorly and I was/am still wiped out from my Thursday-friday day, so my head was not where it usually needs to be.
I've been very lazy today. I did do the dishes, and fed the kids at appropriate times, and gave the kids their baths...so I guess I did what I needed to do.
We got a new kitten yesterday. We ended up having to give Gunk away to another home because he did not like Zber...he kept spitting at her and acting like he was going to bite her face off. He's [Gunk] very happy now and has a new cat friend. I'm glad for that. This new kitten has 6 toes on each paw, is black and white and is SO mellow around the kids. Bub is very happy and is learning to pet her softly, Zber hasn't figured out that tails are NOT for grabbing and pulling yet. we put up the baby-gate in front of the laundry room so the kitten can come and go as she pleases. Bub wants to play with the kitty litter. I try not to gag when I find Bub in there doing just that. If he wasn't before, Bub is now an expert at hand-washing techniques, Nurse style....lol
Monday, June 20, 2011
Still tired
Really LOOOOONG nite. Lots of stuff happened, had to stay until 6:20ish to finish all my paperwork. yuck.
Zber was very happy to see me, since I was the one who changed her poopy diaper. ew. Bub was NOT happy to see me as I was trying to wake him up...by letting Zber in his room to mess up he current elaboration.
He -really- doesn't like it when I do that, but it wakes him up.
It kind of reminds me of when I would run into Ross's room and start freaking out like we only had 10 min before the bus would come. It always got him out of bed, but it also got him mad, and gave me a punch in the arm, or other extremity... Ah! I miss my brother. :(
Well, must get to bed, I have 2 more days on.
Nubs
Zber was very happy to see me, since I was the one who changed her poopy diaper. ew. Bub was NOT happy to see me as I was trying to wake him up...by letting Zber in his room to mess up he current elaboration.
He -really- doesn't like it when I do that, but it wakes him up.
It kind of reminds me of when I would run into Ross's room and start freaking out like we only had 10 min before the bus would come. It always got him out of bed, but it also got him mad, and gave me a punch in the arm, or other extremity... Ah! I miss my brother. :(
Well, must get to bed, I have 2 more days on.
Nubs
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
stubborn bub
My poor poor kid. He's got an overdose of stubbornness from both me and Joe...We just spent the last hour convincing him to take his herbal supplement (that is nominally helping- for now). Then when he decided to take it, he tried to get more than he should. all or nothing...it's crazy-making.
He seems to be back on to environmental art again. here is his latest creation
To be honest tho, today was a really bad day. and I hear the doubters saying "All kids have bad days"
Yeah, all kids have bad days, but not like this. Not when it's a bad day w/ stims and self-abuses, and obsessions, and rituals. Sometimes when people tell me "it sounds like pretty typical behavior for a 6 y/o", I want to punch them in the face. I GREATLY edit what I tell people about the bad days, even the people who know Bub really well, because they either won't believe me and think I'm exaggerating, or they will give me the "f***, this chick is nuts...run away"- look. yes it is a specific look....I bet you have it on your face right now.
QUICK get a mirror and look so you know what I am talking about.
Convincing your child that he can't bring his pennies to the livingroom b/c they will be ingested by his little baby sister is hard enough when they understand you, add not sure if you are being understood in the mix, then add his irrational obsession to bring them into the livingroom even tho Momma is threatening to take away the said pennies, add to that Momma took them away to protect the baby.
Sometimes, the way he acts when I have to take away his latest ritual-obsession makes me think of an addict that can't get his next fix and is freaking out to find/get what will make the withdrawal pain away. great, to protect the baby, I'm making my poor boy go thru penny-DTs.
that actually kinda made me laugh in a defeated kind of way.
and what is really frustrating is that not even an hour before this started he was being SO good. he wanted to help me cook, so I let him "help" me cut the greenbeans and onions that I was cooking for lunch. and after a brief refusal of lunch (I gave him his favorites, not what the rest of us ate) and he did eat his hotdog, applesauce and noodlies, and spent a good 45 min with me writing the alphabet and numbers. He even copied a smiley face that I drew. He's NEVER drawn a face that doesn't look like a clown about to have a sucking contest with a vacuum cleaner before.
after we got both of the kiddos to bed, Joe and I just sat outside for awhile, shellshocked. I keep telling myself it will be better, it has been better, it HAS to get better. I'm having a hard time believing myself today.
He seems to be back on to environmental art again. here is his latest creation
To be honest tho, today was a really bad day. and I hear the doubters saying "All kids have bad days"
Yeah, all kids have bad days, but not like this. Not when it's a bad day w/ stims and self-abuses, and obsessions, and rituals. Sometimes when people tell me "it sounds like pretty typical behavior for a 6 y/o", I want to punch them in the face. I GREATLY edit what I tell people about the bad days, even the people who know Bub really well, because they either won't believe me and think I'm exaggerating, or they will give me the "f***, this chick is nuts...run away"- look. yes it is a specific look....I bet you have it on your face right now.
QUICK get a mirror and look so you know what I am talking about.
Convincing your child that he can't bring his pennies to the livingroom b/c they will be ingested by his little baby sister is hard enough when they understand you, add not sure if you are being understood in the mix, then add his irrational obsession to bring them into the livingroom even tho Momma is threatening to take away the said pennies, add to that Momma took them away to protect the baby.
Sometimes, the way he acts when I have to take away his latest ritual-obsession makes me think of an addict that can't get his next fix and is freaking out to find/get what will make the withdrawal pain away. great, to protect the baby, I'm making my poor boy go thru penny-DTs.
that actually kinda made me laugh in a defeated kind of way.
and what is really frustrating is that not even an hour before this started he was being SO good. he wanted to help me cook, so I let him "help" me cut the greenbeans and onions that I was cooking for lunch. and after a brief refusal of lunch (I gave him his favorites, not what the rest of us ate) and he did eat his hotdog, applesauce and noodlies, and spent a good 45 min with me writing the alphabet and numbers. He even copied a smiley face that I drew. He's NEVER drawn a face that doesn't look like a clown about to have a sucking contest with a vacuum cleaner before.
after we got both of the kiddos to bed, Joe and I just sat outside for awhile, shellshocked. I keep telling myself it will be better, it has been better, it HAS to get better. I'm having a hard time believing myself today.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Last comment for the day---I promise...really
Just wanted to share some recent bub accomplishments...
- bub is helping me set the table by putting bundles of silverware at the right place setting when I ask him to and give him the silverware...
-building round and square structures instead of only towers and lines
-Bub LOVEs to help me make his bed in the mornings, he jumps up on the bed and helps me "tuck-tuck" the blanket and sheets under the mattress
-spins like a ballerina when he holds your pointer finger over his head.
-Only daddy can cut his hair...and only mommy can get him to pick up his room
-will shake hands when asked. :)
Loves!
N
- bub is helping me set the table by putting bundles of silverware at the right place setting when I ask him to and give him the silverware...
-building round and square structures instead of only towers and lines
-Bub LOVEs to help me make his bed in the mornings, he jumps up on the bed and helps me "tuck-tuck" the blanket and sheets under the mattress
-spins like a ballerina when he holds your pointer finger over his head.
-Only daddy can cut his hair...and only mommy can get him to pick up his room
-will shake hands when asked. :)
Loves!
N
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