not luvin the stones....

Yesterday I was flat on my recliner with a heating pad to my lower back all day, except when I threw up d/t excessive pain.  yeah, that was tasty.  Bub stayed up all night, despite the nightlight and Ipad.  Momma took the Ipad away around 2 or 3, followed by much screaming and kicking of the wall.  FYI, yesterday was exactly a month from when the 1st episode hit.

today I had a "revenge of the stone" that lasted about 2 hours.  I pulled out my nursing book to reacquaint myself to the nursing interventions of kidney stones...pediatrics doesn't see too much of them, oddly enough....*sarcasms*

basically, I need to:

• capture some stones, which I have thusly been unsuccessful at
• drink 3+L fluid daily (hard to achieve when I am at work)
• start a food journal to look for triggers
• Food:
• take 1-2 grams Vitamin C daily
• prolly should eat less meat
• Prolly should cut calcium, but I barely ingest ANY calcium, around 6 oz soy milk daily, and some cheese every couple of days, rarely eat broccoli, never eat Kale or Chard or bitter crap like that....
• prolly should avoid chocolate (!!!!!!)  *boohoohooo*
• prolly should avoid coffee 
• might need to avoid whole grains  (
• I need to make an effort to pee every 3-4 hours (again hard to do at work)

(side story:  there are days (nights) while I am at work where everything is so crazy-busy I don't make it to the bathroom at all (that means 12-14 hours).  I am not the only nurse this happens to. PLEASE be kind to your nurse, we need an opportunity to pee too.)

Check out this lovely fact about kidney stones:

"The pain associated with ureteral spasm is excruciating and may cause the client to go into shock from stimulation of nearby sympathetic nerves"

Medical-Surgical Nursing 5th edition, Ignatavicius & Workman p. 1697

well, Bob's yer uncle.  one more thing to worry about..

Today during the few hours of wakefulness before and after the 2nd stone passed, zbug was on me like glue.  would not leave my side for anything, even Daddy offering her oreos.  I feel so guilty.  I'm at work 3-4 nights a week, w/ the days spent sleeping, then I get this and am cloistered in my room from pain, and that's another 2 days she doesn't see me.  even Bub is missing me, and being clingy while I'm around.  poor Joe looks like wall hit him, and the house like a tornado hit.  my MIL thinks I need to see a urologist, but until I get some stones, there really isn't anything to do except what I listed above.

things I'm pretty sure trigger a stone:  coffee & meat.

apparently I am getting the message that I need to become a semi-vegetarian....and a tea drinker.  How's that for irony....

Joe isn't going to be happy about a reduction of meat consumption in our home.  :(
neither will Bub be pleased since the only vegetables he will consistently eat are frozen peas and frozen corn while they are still frozen, and a raw carrot if he gets to peel it.

So I'm pretty depressed by all this.   but on a happy thought (ok I'm stretching it here):  I get stressed and make a human version of a pearl?!?!  lol!

happy July 4th, and ode to my kidneys

GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!!!

This is the most awful thing I ever ingested.  ever.  and I of course am experiencing common and non-common side-effects.  yayee.

One thing that sucks about being a nurse?  Recognizing symptoms and the consequences of those symptoms quickly in myself- and jumping to worst case scenarios that must be ruled out QUICKLY!!

Thankfully, my CT scan showed no tumors anywhere in my pelvic regions, specifically my renal system.   I am the proud momma of kidney stones.  woohoo.

After talking to my parents, I discovered I have relatives on my paternal side that deal with this too.  So glad I get to share the love.  feh.

So I am still dealing w/ side-effects from my oral contrast...and they are NOT pretty side-effects.  I am hoping they will end soon since I am past 24 hrs from ingestion.

Meanwhile, Zbug is very clingy of momma, and Bub has a case of the giggles, as reported by Grandma.

SO--  Happy 4th of July!  Drink lots of water and be good to your kidneys!


(ps- happy anniversary to my parents!  love you!)

bad week

well, this was an "ice-cream w/ cherry on top" week. well, no; not really.

I picked up a bug from work last weekend, I have two prime suspects in mind, and am fairly sure what I had, neither requiring antibiotics, merely time flat on my back in bed since monday...time I really didn't have to be flat on my back in bed.  But there I was in bed feeling like a ton of bricks landed on me.  Meanwhile, we find out on Monday that Bub has grown/developed/advanced enough that he doesn't "Need" summer school.  Yayee for Bub, but boo for me and Joe.

We are freaking out.  what the eff are we going to do for 3 months?  no horse riding all summer.... no school... no little friends to expect to see...  no bus ride...  no packing lunches/breakfasts in the am w/ momma... no ritual of getting the backpack and jumpsuit... more...

so I'm in bed half dead and freaking out.  Joe is struggling to occupy a very intent on being contrary Zber, and a Bub who misses seeing momma doing the momma stuff around the house.  I stayed in my room so they wouldn't get sick from kissing on me.  It seems to have worked. so the house is a disaster.

Living room before I got sick

Kitchen before I got sick

Living room Saturday nite

Living room saturday nite

Kitchen saturday nite

I worked Saturday night, and wasn't tired this morning yet, so I tackled the dishes and made french toast.  Joe helped get the kids dressed for church and we went.  disaster.  we made it 1 hour into the service.

Bub was angry that Grandma didn't bring HER Ipad...his wasn't good enough. (Grandma didn't think we would make it since I worked last nite)  Z didn't want to sit still, and kept screaming "no" at every attempt to do something quiet.  Joe was not feeling well.  I had been up for 21 hrs at that point.  we left.  didn't have the power to keep at it.  neither the packet of starburst Grandma fed Bub nor the sensory soothers I was doing to Bub seemed to be helping, and Z was jealous both of us were focusing on keeping Bub from crying/screaming.  So we left church.  All I can say is, I really tried.

I stayed up until 4 today so Joe could start on mowing the lawn, it's been so rainy (thank God for the rain!!!) that he hasn't been able to get to it, and we have a wilderness on our lot that I am heartily ashamed of.  It was so bad that Joe decided to borrow his parent's tractor mower rather than even attempt it w/ our push mower.  well, a belt broke just as he finished the front lawn, so tomorrow while I sleep, he will be purchasing a new belt and attempting to fix it so he can finish the lawn...but in the meantime we are forcasted for more rain in the next day or two.  So the wilderness continues.

My hope of starting a container garden this week will have to wait until at least Thursday.    meanwhile, maybe I can get the house back up to snuff.  maybe. 

I passed out around 4pm today, and got up around 11pm.  Now I'm just trying to motivate myself to NOT go to the 24 hr Whataburger and stay home and start cooking some stuff so Joe can feed the kiddos some good food for the next two days I work and not feed the kids nuggets and hotdogs.  lol    But I really want a cheeseburger and onion rings.  I really suck.  lol

Nite, here's hoping for a better week.  :)  At least I got the kitchen cleaned up this morning. 


nubs

Sundays can really suck...

The worst day in our house is typically Sat or Sunday.  Esp if Joe or I or both of us are sickly on either of those two days.  See...This is how it is btwn all of us....  I worked hard during the week and want to chill out and recoup from my job...Joe worked hard during the week and wants to chill out from the kids.  Bub had a hard week at school being in a disciplined scheduled and wants to not listen to anyone at any time to chill out from the week, Zber is super excited to have everybody home at the same time so She won't sleep during nap-time and insists on waking up at 3am to ensure all the playtime with us all she can cram in to a brief 48 hr period.

I had a mandatory vaccine in my rt deltoid on Friday for my new job.  Seriously...my arm is STILL killing me and I had what felt like a 3-day hangover all Friday and Saturday.  Joe had digestive issues all last nite and today...so he wanted (and did) to hide out in bed out of misery.  Bub wanted to poo on the floor a lot today...at least 3 times just today.  He really hates it when I scrub his fingernails...but like I tell him..."If you are going to touch it, I'm going to scrub it...I see you eat...you forget to use your fork sometimes!!!!"   Zber found a piece either Joe or I missed.  I threw up in my mouth a little...which is odd since I deal with a lot of poo at work too.  Maybe it was because she's my baby...I don't know...either way, puke in the mouth is just not a happy kind of thing.

But back to the vaccine thing...if one little vaccine can eff me up, I who am....(let's be kind...) ...rubinesque...imagine how it can eff up a little baby...and they want to do up to 9 different ones at once?  not to my babies...and not in Texas.  YEA for my philosophical right to refuse!!!  I'm an adult, and it made me have one of the worst head-aches of my life...and you're telling me it won't damage a baby's neurologic tissues?  I'll give the shots, but I sure won't let my babies have them on any one else's time frame but MINE!


grrrr......

picked up a bug

I am feeling really crappy today.  it's pretty sucky cuz I have tons to do, and my next rotation starts tomorrow nite.  my head hurts like hell.  I hate this.

But on the plus side....I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!  I got hired on at one of our local hospitals in the pediatric department!  Yayee me!!!  I'm still working nights, but I am very cool with that.  I'm really used to it by now, so that isn't an issue.   And yes..this was what my "mystery meeting" was all about. 

I would be bouncing around about this but I'm getting either thru some bug or I'm still recouperating from working all night on Sat-sun in floor stripping fumes. floor stripping fumes are not my friends apparently.  I had the worst headache on Sunday and pretty much slept all day and night. I barely spent any time with the kids the whole day.  I feel like a terrible mom.  :(

Other exciting news....Bub has poo'ed twice in the potty all by himself since last week, and Zber is saying "kitty" and "STOP"  and "y-sssssss" (it's not fully vocalized "yes", but I will take it!).  ECI visitied and Zber is not showing any need for therapies at this time. (whew!)  Masquerade (our new kitty) lets Zber pick her up carry her all over w/o complaint, and Joe fixed our old PC. our brakes AREN'T complete toast (we just needed to add brake fluid).  and we didn't bounce a single thing financially after paying all the bills. 

Somehow, we are doing things right for once.  hope we can keep it up.  :)

Nubs

Bub and his antics

We get the call from Bub's school..."Bub is sick, please pick him up now".  Really?!?

Joe gets Bub, is informed that he wouldn't eat, and pointed to his throat when asked if he was hurting, and refused to take an oral or axillary temp.  thank God they didn't try a rectal temp, right?  Joe, being the well trained Nurse's husband asked, "didn't you try taking his temp w/ a temporal thermometer?"  the response of the school nurse was..."we will be purchasing one in the very near future."  
*insert eye rolling*

Once Joe talked to Bub's aide, the story took a slightly different tone.  when Bub pointed to his throat, he was moving his pointer finger from the top of his throat to the bottom of his throat.  That is "drink" in ASL.  When they kept asking if his throat hurt he started crying.

Momma translation:  I am thirsty and you don't understand me, I think I will cry now because I am thirsty and mad.

*Insert my head pounding on the counter*

Bub's temp is 98.7- normal.  after 3 attempts, got to see the throat: no redness, no swelling.  No glandular swelling in the cervical (neck) area.  ears clean and clear, nose clear, eyes bright, MM pink & moist. 

Bub is fine.  Bub has now learned to fake getting sick to get out of school.  My gratitude abounds.

Bub is now in his room, in BED since he's "sick", and I have him practicing writing his letters on his little leapfrog electronic pad thingy grandma got him.  Gave him Jello, and Joe bought him some soda on the way home from school.   Bub is no longer "thirsty"

Thinking of printing out this post as Bub's excuse note for school tomorrow.

Nubs

what I get for trying to be a nice momma

And today:
Bub started today in a good mood.  he let me make pancakes w/o being in my way.  This is a big accomplishment for Bub...as pancakes are a favorite of his.  He refused to eat his peaches tho.  Ha ha on him, Momma snuck bananas in the pancakes.  hee.

Then while Zbear was napping, I decided to make corndogs from scratch for lunch.  This is a big deal for me since I can not find any edible version of corndogs that exclude forbidden ingredients from the stores (milk products mainly)  The few that I did find, I couldn't gag down, Joe barely ate (and he's a corndog lover) and Bub walked away from, and Bub never walks away from any kind of hotdog.
It started well.  Bub was all interested in what I was doing...until I rolled the hotdogs in flour.  Oh, the wailing.  Bub was convinced I was destroying his beloved hotdogs.  normally I'm not phased by this, but I had a vat of hot grease going on the range near the fussing of this little man. 
Momma started to loose her cool, Bub protested by climbing up the cabinets to get corn chips in protest, and promptly was sent to his room to take a time out in his bed.  more wailing and moaning.
Then when I finished making the corndogs and french fries, he peeled the coating off.  !!!!  in his favor I will say he came back 10 min later and did eat the coatings, but by then, after I finished monitoring Zbear's eating of the highly minced corndogs, I felt SICK, and I didn't eat anything.  Joe said it was good, but I felt like hurling.  Took a bath, during which time Bub snuck off to his room and protested the whole affair by pooping on the floor.

yayee us.

After cleanup (Joe did the floor, I did the Bub) I meant to only rest for a half hour, but Joe woke me up just before 7pm.  I slept thru our free babysitting offer and we missed our date night.  I feel really bad for that, plus I still feel sick.

The pharmacy called and said they aren't going to be able to refill Bub's risperidone until tomorrow, and unadvertantly sometime during the adventures in cooking I knocked over the box with his meds and we had a 20 min freakout thinking Bub climbed up the stove and ate himself an overdose of a hefty anti-psychotic.  Thankfully, as I said it was just knocked over, and now I am trying to think of a different safe location to keep his meds.  There is really nowhere in the house I can guarantee Bub won't get into, he is a marvel at engineering feats.  He figured out how to unscrew his door off the hinges when he found Joe's secret stash of screwdrivers.

well, at least he is happily asleep right now, as is Zbear.  I'm hitting up the pepto and hoping to feel better in the morning, so I can be ready for what Bub dishes up for me next.

attempting to pose while wearing his sister's snuggly hat

Nubs

sick on a day off :(

Don't you just hate that?  I have the worst stuffy nose that zyrtec & benedryl can't touch, plus I'm all achey and tired, and a temp over 100F  I just don't have energy for this.  Joe is being a trooper tho, trying to let me rest and not get frustrated w/ me.  I love him for that.  Zber is not so patient.

We had some "excitement" yesterday.  I came in from outside in the afternoon and forgot to lock the door.  about 20 min later Bub tries the door, figures out it's open and made a great escape.  I was on the couch behind the packnplay barrier we have set up to keep Zber out of the kitchen when Bub is doing elaborations in there, I'm hurdling this crib (barefoot), Joe who is behind the PC barrier is hurdling the trunk, Zber is hooting all excited.  I get out the door, and Bub is halfway down the driveway heading for the street.  That is the scary bit.  Our road has a 20 mph limit, but because we live in kinda nowhere off a couple of main country roads, NO ONE obeys that speed limit.  And Bub is heading for the road.  I'm barefoot getting my soles tore up on the rocks halfway to Bub as he is almost at the street, I'm screaming "Stop!  Sign Stop Bub!!!"  (cuz he is more likely to do a thing if he signs it), meanwhile, Joe in his cowboyboots passes me and grabs Bub just as Bub reaches the street, turns around and starts laughing hysterically.  Glad he sees something funny in this, cuz I just want to cry.

Needless to say, Bub was disciplined which lead to an hour of Bub protesting w/ loud screams and bangings of the wall with limbs and toys.  after he calmed down, Joe took him to Lowe's to look around.  Going to Lowe's is one of Bub's favorite trips.

As for his appt w/ his pediatric behavoralist, Bub now has a script for risperidol.  we spent a good 20min talking about side-effects and necessary blood work for this med.  Sometime today, I need to call his regular pediatrician and set up an appt to get a fasting blood test for Bub.  I am NOT looking forward to that at all.  Last time we had to draw blood on Bub, he was 3 and he was so freaked out and non-compliant we had to put him in a papoose restraint, and STILL have 2 more people help to keep him totally still.  I have a feeling I will be referred to the local hospital's lab to ensure the draw goes smoothly.  He will have to have blood tests every 6months once he starts this.  yea me.  But, if it helps him, I will do it.


Zber is now napping after breakfast and a "Ba-ba" (bottle), I will prolly join her soon, and try to fight off this virus.  I need to beat it by Saturday.  I am scheduled another 4day rotation.  I REALLY hope I get a different section this time around.

Nubs.

Meds for Bub

Fabulous appt yesterday.  Not so fabulous doing a forth 12h shift on 3h of sleep.  My head is still hurting, so I'm going to hold off blogging about the appt other than the fact that I am holding in my hands a script for Bub to start meds.

V. happy, just waiting for the sleep-deprived headache & allergy-like symptoms to abate.

Nubs.

windridge was canceled

Cuz Bub's instructor had to go home sick.  I hope she didn't get heat exhaustion, it's been dang hot around here lately.  & she's out in the most miserable heat walking around and dealing w/ horses (who get hot too).  I'll be hoping the best for her.  I think Bub only has one more week of windridge before they break for the summer.

I'm feeling pretty crappy today.  my fingers feel all puffy.  I'm thinking I got too much sodium yesterday.  I've been trying to drink a lot of fluids, but I guess I haven't had enough to flush out my system.  I've got wedding-ring indention big-time today.   That and I feel like I have a cotton head.  Joe is telling me to go back to bed, but then I'll just end up being awake all night again, and feel crappy tomorrow.  blah.

Z is now excelling at climbing all things we have put up to keep her from getting into mischief, at least she understands "no" and "down"  when she quiets I'll try to read her a story.  she has little patience to sit for a story.  it kinda worries me.

Nubs.

allergies? or something more insidious?

I am sneezing like a banshee.  Do banshees sneeze, or just scream?  Dk.  took a zyrtec, but I packed my dayquil (generic of course) just incase I've picked up some kind of little virus...stupid buggers.  Z is very angry that I have to work tonight and can't stay home & play with her.  Bub snuck into my room while I was sleeping and snuggled with me, I guess he missed me because I went to bed this morning before he woke up.  It was pretty cute.

Anyhow.  gotta go.   Nubs

you give me fever...

Was watching muppet shows lately, and saw Rita Moreno sing "Fever" w/ Animal.  pretty funny, but not so funny here at home.

Zbear is still suffering a fever, so far the pattern is: happy cool baby in the morning, fine all afternoon...come 7pm, temp shoots up past 101.  my poor sweet cheerribub.  She actually just wanted to snuggle on my chest and rest (NOT sleep tho),  she hasn't done that since she weaned herself at 10mo.  (Momma's still a little bitter about her weaning herself so early...)

Momma sang her songs and then watched the arts channel after my voice started breaking...you know, cuz I sing so much nowadays...yeah.    Then my Mom called and the phone ringing startled the bejankers out of her.  So instead of being cute sad hot baby, she quickly turned into grumpy mad hot baby.

It was time for her next dose of APAP, made her a bottle of pedialyte and popped her back into her crib.  I've heard no complaints so I am sure she is fast asleep.  Have my A/C on to 74.  I am FREEZING...but I will pay the slightly higher electricity bill and wear a sweater in May if it keeps my little Zber comfy.

Nubs

and so it goes

 Now that Bub is better and back in school, Zbear is sick.  I suspect she's finally coming down w/ 5th's too, she's had a fever for the past 2 days...yesterday it was getting high, but Momma knows how to manage a temp.  3 years ago I'd be freaking out and calling the Nurse-line every few hours, needing assurances that I'm doing the right thing, making sure I don't need to make a midnight-madness run to the local ER.  Now?  APAP, tepid bath, pedialyte, jello, popsicles,  A/C on, Baby Einstein droning...  I'm not even phased by this.

I'm waiting for the rash to start.  I suspect the rash will appear once the fever breaks.  my poor poor cheerribubs, I'm sure this is the 1st of many shared illnesses.  at least they share, right?

Nubs

moral query

So it is airing dirty laundry to talk about the troubles happening in your extended family, or is it a matter of a burden shared is a burden lessened.  I'm not sure.

right now my half of the family is going through much turmoil and pain.  I'm half ready to pack a bag and head up I-35, it'll only take about 15-19 hours if I leave the kids w/ Joe.  Parents are saying I don't need to they are ok.  but I worry that they aren't.  Dad's got a really bad bronchial infection.  they called me last night asking what kinds of meds they should ask his doctor for, for the symptoms he's having.  w/ all the respiratory infections my kiddo's at work get, that wasn't very hard...and they pretty much got all of them today when they called his doctor...except the Dr prescribed a corticosteroid...I didn't suggest that because I would think his immune system is already shot right now and why add more risk, but then again, the pain reduction corticosteroids provide short-term IS really kick-ass.  Dad says he's feeling better, but still, I worry about them  Mom is 30 years older than me, and Dad is 34 years older.  they shouldn't have to deal w/ this crap at their age.

I know I'm being vague about what the crap is exactly...I'm doing that on purpose.  sorry.  I haven't decided yet if I want to disclose the whole story.  I haven't decided if that is ok or not, hence my moral query.  but man, this affects me too, and part of me feels like I should have the opportunity to talk about it openly and hopefully get input from others who have gone thru similar situations, but then again, I really do know how important it is to maintain the privacy of others.  so I'm stuck, and I'm vague.  and I hate it.

it's hard to believe it is coming to this.  I never in a million years would expect this to be the current reality.  I feel so helpless living so far away.  I really love my life in TX, but if this kind of crisis continues, I really think we have to consider moving closer.  and I have to get my ass going on finishing my BSN, cuz my RN license won't work in MN. boo!  WI yes...so maybe I'll be renewing my WI driver's license sometime...it did have a hot picture of me from my late 20's lol!


Nubs

ugh

foolishly agreed to pick up a shift on Thursday->Friday.  one of my kiddo's sneezed in my face b4 I had time to duck (ew) and got sicky from it..  got a 2 hour nap in Friday morning before hauling my butt to Bub's school's alternative to special olympics because I promised I would be there, and Joe did not show any interest in coming w/ Zber.  So here I go, w/ no make-up, eye bags down to my knees and a sniffly sneezy nose.  I bet you I could've won a few beauty awards...
Poor Bub was having a hard time, kept hitting himself.  I ended up sitting w/ him and letting him look at the pictures on my camera.  He did do most of the activities, but was happiest when we left the noisy, busy, crowded gym in a school he'd never been to before....yeah.
So I spent the rest of the day sleeping the crud off...thought I was feeling better, but really wasn't.  am about to go to bed and hope I feel up to work tomorrow...cuz I'm scheduled a 4-day rotation.  I just want to cry.

here's to a night of healing sleep please.

Nubs

Tribute to Susan Predoehl

So...
as I was driving to my Chemistry test, I was listening to my His People 91-92 tape, and the last song is an arrangement Mr. Dicke made for "Jesus let us come to know you" that Susan had a solo part for. And as I was listening to it, I thought, "MAN, she has such a pretty voice...why didn't I ever notice that before?" (this is 10+ years since I first heard it)
Then I started to remember and think about Susan. She was, hands down, the most encouraging and kind person I have ever known in my life.
In my freshman year, when I was trying SO hard to be good in track, she was the only person that would stick with me during our practice runs out in the streets of a certain suburb where people drove AWFULLY fast down county rd B-C. She stuck with me in the slush and crappy-icy streets when she could have finished her 5-mile run already. No one else would slow down enough to stick with me the first couple of weeks before my time started to go up.
She was ALWAYS smiling, and trying to be helpful. I can not remember ever hearing her say anything negative about anyone.
Then she came to visit me after I moved back from the east coast before she moved to CA, and then I lost touch with her. So sad. :(

Why is it that when we are really young, we don't have the wisdom to see the value in people? Why is it that as a teen I was SO preoccupied with stupid people that were completely out of my life within 5 years? Why is it that I only appreciate some of the best people that ever wandered into my life after they have wandered out of it?
Why did I think some of the worst people that were in my life at that time were so fascinating?
*sigh*

Liz wrote me that she turns old next month.
I wonder if that is what is happening to me (after I wrote back and told her she's being silly), and that's why I'm waxing philosophical, waning sense.....

Anyhow; Susan, even if you never see this....you are the most kind and encouraging person I have ever known, and I wish I could be more like you. :)


Now- for my Mom, another bub photo!

FYI- this balloon didn't lose it's buoyancy for 2 weeks, that's right 14 days. I have never seen a standard He balloon (not the metallic kind) last that long.
Bub loved it. :) It helped him get thru his ear infection. He'd hold the string and kind of pull and punch it and watch it go up & down with a sad, kind of pathetic smile that made me hug & kiss him and tell him he'd get better soon.
*sigh* and now he is! Yayee!

Nbub!