anxiety attack

I have my "Mystery meeting" tomorrow.   Out of no where around 1pm today, I had a minor panic attack.  I haven't had a panic attack since before Bub was born.  The last one was when I was in EC, and my  Idiot  boss was railing on me for something...I don't even remember what it was about... and I just started hyperventilating and crying hysterically at the same time.  not fun.  I'm surprised he didn't call 911 with what a mess I must have been.
Today was nothing so dramatic.  Just some heart palpations that would best be described as "lurches" and a slight increase to my resp. rate accompanied by the typical thoughts you get when facing these kinds of meetings. I'll be fine.  I already gave myself the Stuart Smalley peptalk in front of my mirror today and Joe has been wonderfully kind, agreeing with me to screw going grocery shopping today, and then not laughing at me when I decided to go 30 min later.  But that's really me in a nutshell, yeah?  I talk all blustery and rebellious, and then cave in and do the right thing after I'm left alone and calm down a bit. 

Shopping sucked as it always did.  I had to buy specialty items that I normally don't because they last so long.  For example: Ground Cardamom was effin $10 for a flipping McCormick spice bottle size.  WHAT?!?  It's not like I'm buying lark-tongues or saffron.  Diapers were upmarked this week, and that bummed me out, so I'm going to have to shop around to get Zber's butt-covers at a decent price. THANK YOU LORD that Bub no longer wears pull-ups and uses the toilet to pee into.  Now...if we could just do something about the frequency of poo getting into the toilet instead of the floor, I would be ever so happy....


Nubs.