what the....? and quick update

Who are all of you that keep looking at my blog even when I post nothing since March?  y'all must love me or I've got a heck of a lot of stalkers, lol

Well!  lots has changed since last post.  We bought a house and moved to AR.  I now work in a med-surg floor and am having my butt kicked like never before.

Zbug has almost stopped asking when we are going home and accepting we are NOW home.

Bub still poops and pees on the floor....but it's getting less frequent.

Joe has a yard to mow and a TON of house-hold fixer-uppers to do, and is glorying in dreaming about all the things he wants to do to make the house "awesome".

I found us a church, and since I'm now working days, I get to go to church!  yayee!  I go to the early service by myself-which is good, cuz I'm the only one that likes the traditional lyrical service, and then we all go to the contemporary service.  we make it about 10-15 min before me and the kids hit the nursery/childrens' church, so Joe gets a chance to worship in a setting he likes much better.  Joe will put up with the "Lutheran Aerobics" when I ask him to, but he much prefers not to.  ;D

Bub will be starting School again mid August.  Joe is anxiously counting down the days.  Rowan is slowly losing some of the weight he gain before the move, d/t Joe making him help mow the backyard and Bub just runs the stairs up and down to his room and back to the kitchen.  we'll get him there.  both Joe and I are sheding a few pounds...but just a little so far.  ha!  Zbug does NOT need to lose weight, she is SO tiny!  

will post pictures soon, Joe says he's going to build me a tardis mailbox.  I can't wait to paint it!!!!

NUBS!!!!

assault by enema

it's always surprising to see my stats...as in, who the hell are these random people who read my crap, esp since I haven't posted for months d/t anxiety and a mini-depressive-like-state.  anyway....

I had a thought the other day, and as I have too many easily offended "friends" on FB to post thoughts uncensored, I'm posting it here instead.  that way I won't know who I offended and get mad when they unfriend me but then pretend to be my friend in real life.... yeahhhh

So part of my issues lately stems from the crappy health ins my employer offers, if I don't get a required membership to their owned health club and if I don't work-out a min of 20 min x24times in a quarter, my health ins premiums will double.  f-you to my employer first of all...but I'm not here to rant about that, just to set this thought up in context...

So I'm on my 17th session last week (I have until the 31st to get this shit done) it's right after I finished a shift at my PRN job (oh yeah, need another F-you to my employer for getting my hours so cut d/t low census that I have to work full-time hours at my PRN job), so I've been awake at least 18hr by now...and I'm at the effin gym, that I prolly haven't worked enough hours this pay-period to pay for my membership dues on my next check (F-you again).  I am walking slowly on the indoor track, bc if I'm being forced to do this, you can't force me to break a sweat...there is no clause that I have to do that, just that I am "working out"...my interpretation of that is from my 2nd grade teacher Mr. Johnson..."it doesn't matter what you do, or how much, just keep moving"   So I am moving, at my pace, for the required 20 min.  well guess what.  there is a group of about 20 effers running around the track being led by some perky little 70lb twit who is screaming "motavational" comments to keep them running.  and they nearly knock me over even tho I am in the dedicated "WALKING" portion of the track.

I cannot help but think how much I really hate most personal trainers, esp the ones to are shouty and insulting to make you mad so you keep going.  and then when you achieve your goal, you're so happy you "love" them and "thankful" for their version of "encouragement"  no.  not this little girl....

If that twit started shouting at me, I swear, I was ready to punch her in the throat and perform "assault by enema"  how awesome would that be?  I need a bumper sticker that says

"Piss me off, and I'll assault you with an enema so hard, it will come out both ends"

that was what got me thru that, that and walking even slower in the middle of my lane with my arms akimbo (peter pan style)

Nub

Wake up!

This is Zbugs favorite thing to say.  my heart is very relieved that she is verbalizing more and more, and is not just repeating what we say.  She's not on sentences yet, but she is starting original phrases.  Like today, when Joe took something away from her that she wasn't supposed to have, she said, "Daddy mean" while sniveling to me. 

She snivels.  to me, in corners, she puts herself in a cupboard and snivels.  I have to find a way to help her stop sniveling.  She's a very determined little girl, she is starting to be picky about what she wears and esp. what she eats...which is frustrating to me since Bub has major food issues.  One day she loves something and will not stop eating it, and 2 days later she will wrinkle her nose at it.  Yes she literally wrinkles her little nose.  It's hilarious...and I can't laugh while she does it.   But I want to.

Bub is currently obsessed with playing with water in the sink, pouring it into a container, then pouring from one container to another, like a mad scientist stereotype. it doesn't help that he giggles like mad while he is doing this.  after flooding our bathroom floor many times, we have limited him to the kitchen sink where we can at least keep an eye on him and avoid a floor flooding.  I would like this obsession to end, and of course it won't.

Bub continues to verbalize, he's getting better with answering yes/no questions.  He continues to say the first sound of words.  Joe and I are getting better at translation.  Today he hugged a random old man at church.  He doesn't do that.  I think the old man was put off by it.  what can I do?  he did good by being outgoing, he did bad by hugging someone inappropriate...how do I teach in this moment?  yayee me.

here are some recent pictures...I am trying to be better about all this, but you know..I'm not really....

off-label use of prescriptives

I've joined a new group on FB for parents and care-providers for children w/ autism.  One of the current threads I've been following and commenting on concerns a person who's child was prescribed a drug that is approved for children w/ autism, but the child is under the guideline age/weight, and the purpose of the script is off-label (fyi- that means the use of the drug for that purpose has not been officially studied, nor is it approved for that use by the FDA)

my big beef is that I get really tee-d off by drug companies using desperate parents who PAY THE DRUG COMPANY to basically be experimental subjects.  Then these same drug companies turn around and say their pre-release research is soooo expensive that they HAVE to have a monopoly on the drug for 7 years and force people to pay up the wahzoo during those 7 years.  and the clincher?  those 7 years are also used for research where you, the consumer, are paying the drug company to be a research subject.

What's happening during those 7 years?  they are starting the Long term results of extended use of the drug.  this is WHY we get drug recalls, and law suits against drug companies because of unforseen drug effects in the general population. 

It is the stupidest thing.  unless I am dying, I will NEVER take a drug that does not have a generic version. 

and now for my vaccine gripe- this is why my kids will NOT EVER get flu shots, H2N2 shots, or the stupid new HPV vaccine shots.  MAYBE when they are older, I may let them get a meningitis shot, but I'm still deciding on that one.  it's the same reason.  these companies RACE to get FDA approval, but they all have little if ANY (H2N2 specifically) research done on them. and Flu shots are hit or miss.  they literally guess which strain will be most virulent and make it for that, but there is really no knowing which strain of flu will be most pervasive in any flu season... I really believe unless you have other complications or are at a high risk of infection/respiratory problems, you should ignore the hype.  Healthy individuals are very likely able to fight most viral infections well. 

I get so mad at how backward this all is.

sept 18, 2004

8 years ago, I was trying to sleep and not think about how I couldn't eat or drink anything.  Also savoring the last few kicks I would feel from the inside, knowing that all future kicks would be from the outside, and not very pleasant.  (I was right).

Love you Bub.  Happy Birthday.

Since I work on his birthday, we took him out to dinner Monday, to a chinese buffet, bc he LOVES picking out his own food himself.

I can't believe how well he does at it now.  I don't have to worry (as much) about him running off, grabbing food w/ his hands, or having a melt-down in public anymore (well- VERY rarely).  It helps that we go to these kinds of places around 4pm, and the only people there besides ourselves are some elderly people (really).  He of course chose chicken nuggets, french fries, fried shrimp, and jello.  I tried to interest him in some fruit, but that was a no go.  I don't really blame him, the fruit looked terrible, but I felt I had to do my "mom duty" and at least try to get him to eat something vaguely healthy.  lol  Also offered corn, and he pushed the spoon away and actually said "no".  How can I force him to eat it after he actually verbalized?

He behaved very well, did not play w/ the window blinds, or try to pour out all the salt on the table (the typical offenses).  His little sister however was awfully naughty during dinner, but then again, what 2 y/o can resist being naughty in public when there is such an audience to perform for?

My mom sent a birthday package that was waiting for us once we got home.  I let Bub open it all by himself, and he really liked what he found inside.  Zbug liked her unbirthday presents as well.  Before we had left for dinner, I had Bub get on the phone to my parents and "count" to ten for them.  So it was an early "thank you" call. 

Still planning a little party for him at the end of the month.  trying to come up w/ ideas.  I'm planning on sending some home-made gfcf "kettle corn" pop-corn to school as a treat for the class.  Bub is still cf, and his favorite friend is gf, so I guess I am destined to keep up the gf skills as well.  :) 

Nubs

There is no such thing as being open-minded

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of my friends on FB posting to their wall things like:

I'm tired of seeing  political/humanitarian/ethical statements/propaganda/bullsh*t/etc... opposite of my beliefs, so if you start posting things I disagree with/find offensive/are opposite to my viewpoint/etc...  I'm going to unfriend you/hide you/cast voodoo curses on you/ etc...

I rarely spout on about my political/religious/ethical points on FB, I leave that for my blog and for actual conversations.  But I read these huffy statements and wonder:

Would you rather have me lie?  Would you rather have me deny my strongly held beliefs?  What would you think if I came out and expected you to change everything you believe because I think you are wrong and I am right?  Isn't it better that people can think and believe what they do based on their own personal circumstances and experiences instead of being dictated into believing what you want them to think?  What would you think of me if I bent to every wind and never took a stand on anything, or just kept flopping around?  How can you be so sure you are right and I am not?  

Would you like me if you had a star on your belly and there was none on mine?  (Sorry, had to add the Dr Suess reference)

Aren't those the underlying questions such a statement begs?

My viewpoints on hot-topics are very ...unexpected (to some people, anyway).   I get misjudged a lot, people think they know what I think, but they don't know the REASONING of what I think.  Here is why:

I don't like drama, and deep down I know I have a great potential to be dramatic.  I don't like that aspect of myself.  I much prefer to consider myself cool-headed and even-tempered.  But Joe can tell you that's not true...boy can he tell you stories of that not being true.  So having come to the admission of this personality flaw, I work very hard to avoid situations where I am likely to become highly dramatic.  To avoid the worst of me from coming out, I keep my opinions to myself, unless I am asked specifically. 

So with this thought, I wonder about people that make statements like the generality of the above.  Why are they so threatened by other people's statements that they go to such extremes to avoid them, and in some cases invite them so they can do the action threatened?  And these statements are coming from people who I know consider themselves to be and claim to be open-minded.

I don't believe in the term "open-minded" anymore.  I don't see any evidence that it really exists.  Everyone has their own biases, but whether they admit to them or shout them out on the top of the mountain is really up to them.  I have yet to encounter anyone when faced with a contradictory point of view will stop and say, "that is a good point, I will have to consider that and possibly readjust my opinion"

Nope, I hear, "you're wrong"  and "I don't agree", or "that's your opinion", or "shut up moron"  or "you are a *insert derogatory slur*"

I wish people would think about that.  Isn't that what those declarations are really saying?  How will there ever be a greater understanding if that's how mankind acts as a whole?  Even more, if you are that closed-minded while claiming to be open-minded, how are you different than the person/people you are addressing?


I think about these things.

Froggie in my house

A few days ago, Joe and I -finally- got the yard mowed.  We haven't mowed it since late June.  We were going to mow it in early July, but my bout w/ kidney stones stopped that, then we were going to mow in mid-to-late july, but then my schedule didn't give us enough time to get it done and have one of us not asleep for child-duty (me), then we were going to do it in early August, but then West Nile Virus was rampant in our area (well, not super rampant, but several confirmed cases in our county), so FINALLY we got it done this week.

While mowing the meter high weeds near the back of the house, Joe discovered lots of little lizards and frogs. And being Joe, he brought one inside to show Zbug

"WTH?!?!"

"MUST ESCAPE"

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little Frog too!"

So after boinging around the house w/ Zbug in hot pursuit, I finally made Joe recapture the little Froggy and set it free.

Now, go out and eat all the ookie bugs Froggy!

Nubs

school starts on monday

I try to sound like I'm kidding around when I talk about how excited Joe and I are about Bub going back to school on Monday so I don't sound like a terrible parent.  Then I self-depreciate myself about how I must be a terrible parent to say I'm excited to have Bub back in school.  This tactic usually gets me lots of praise about how much we do for Bub and the challenges we face.  But I don't do it for that reason.  I really do feel bad that I get so excited for Bub to be at school.  and I am happy with how much he loves the routine of school, and the experiences he has there.

But to be honest, I really look forward to the break of not having to be on point 24-7+ while he's home.  And that I think is what I really feel bad about.   I think about parents who have kids that are absolutely non-functional, children that weigh over 80lbs and have the mentality of a 3month old.  When they need a respite, people understand, and it makes ABSOLUTE sense.  and I'm absolutely jealous.
See, look at Bub: he can dress himself, feed himself, can make a few simple meals for himself if left to his own devices, can write a bit, ambulates, can use a toilet properly(when he feels like it)...in other words, he's pretty functional.  People don't really get that parents of kids like this need a break too.  We should be "fine"

And it's not like w/ normal kids, where you sweet-talk your friends to take your kids for the weekend in exchange for you taking their kids for them some other weekend.  If you ask parents who have a special-needs kid, you know how much MORE you are adding to their plate, so that's not an option.  You can't really ask a friend that has normal kids, because they have NO IDEA NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN of what they will encounter while your child is in their care.  So that's out.  It's not really fair to beg your family either, they need breaks too.  so you have no one.  it really really sucks.  so you suck it up and hope the next week is a little better, and that there will be less poo to clean up off the floor.

or walls.


or ceiling.


I love my Bub.  I can't wait for Monday!!!!

please?

I want homemade cookies.  But I don't want to deal with the bother of making them.

I wish Joe would make me some.  But he won't cook anymore since the pancake incident and the garlic rice episode.

He made me a cake once.   it was good.

He later confided to me that he had his mom on the phone the whole time he was making it.

I wish he would get on the phone with her again.  Sugar cookies would be nice.  with frosting....



Sigh

not luvin the stones....

Yesterday I was flat on my recliner with a heating pad to my lower back all day, except when I threw up d/t excessive pain.  yeah, that was tasty.  Bub stayed up all night, despite the nightlight and Ipad.  Momma took the Ipad away around 2 or 3, followed by much screaming and kicking of the wall.  FYI, yesterday was exactly a month from when the 1st episode hit.

today I had a "revenge of the stone" that lasted about 2 hours.  I pulled out my nursing book to reacquaint myself to the nursing interventions of kidney stones...pediatrics doesn't see too much of them, oddly enough....*sarcasms*

basically, I need to:

• capture some stones, which I have thusly been unsuccessful at
• drink 3+L fluid daily (hard to achieve when I am at work)
• start a food journal to look for triggers
• Food:
• take 1-2 grams Vitamin C daily
• prolly should eat less meat
• Prolly should cut calcium, but I barely ingest ANY calcium, around 6 oz soy milk daily, and some cheese every couple of days, rarely eat broccoli, never eat Kale or Chard or bitter crap like that....
• prolly should avoid chocolate (!!!!!!)  *boohoohooo*
• prolly should avoid coffee 
• might need to avoid whole grains  (
• I need to make an effort to pee every 3-4 hours (again hard to do at work)

(side story:  there are days (nights) while I am at work where everything is so crazy-busy I don't make it to the bathroom at all (that means 12-14 hours).  I am not the only nurse this happens to. PLEASE be kind to your nurse, we need an opportunity to pee too.)

Check out this lovely fact about kidney stones:

"The pain associated with ureteral spasm is excruciating and may cause the client to go into shock from stimulation of nearby sympathetic nerves"

Medical-Surgical Nursing 5th edition, Ignatavicius & Workman p. 1697

well, Bob's yer uncle.  one more thing to worry about..

Today during the few hours of wakefulness before and after the 2nd stone passed, zbug was on me like glue.  would not leave my side for anything, even Daddy offering her oreos.  I feel so guilty.  I'm at work 3-4 nights a week, w/ the days spent sleeping, then I get this and am cloistered in my room from pain, and that's another 2 days she doesn't see me.  even Bub is missing me, and being clingy while I'm around.  poor Joe looks like wall hit him, and the house like a tornado hit.  my MIL thinks I need to see a urologist, but until I get some stones, there really isn't anything to do except what I listed above.

things I'm pretty sure trigger a stone:  coffee & meat.

apparently I am getting the message that I need to become a semi-vegetarian....and a tea drinker.  How's that for irony....

Joe isn't going to be happy about a reduction of meat consumption in our home.  :(
neither will Bub be pleased since the only vegetables he will consistently eat are frozen peas and frozen corn while they are still frozen, and a raw carrot if he gets to peel it.

So I'm pretty depressed by all this.   but on a happy thought (ok I'm stretching it here):  I get stressed and make a human version of a pearl?!?!  lol!

crazy dreams

had the craziest dream to date: dreamt that my younger brother (aged around 16-17) slipped on some ice on my parent's driveway and hit the back of his head on a rock on the driveway island, then I had to convince my parents that he needed to go to an ER because his pupils were dilating weirdly and he wasn't fully orientated, as they took him to the hosp, I went to my current job, get a call from the ER in Burger Kind (??!!!??) that I needed to get my butt over there bc my parents wouldn't explain how Ross got that injury and CPS was called in and my parents called the CPS case worker a "gestapo nazi"

 

 

there is something really wrong with my head.   my brother is 37 and is a Marine stationed in Japan right now.  my parents would never accuse someone of being a gestapo nazi. and there would never be an ER in a Burger King.

50cent is a jerk.

well, he is.  anyone who says someone looks "autistic" as an insult is a jerk.

Thank you Holly Robinson Peete for your eloquent and to the point response to the idjit.  (being a jerk he does not get the respect of correct spelling)

Taking down the tweets is such a half-assed response.  get a spine and apologize.

read Holly's letter to the "idjit"

read an article about what the "idjit" said.

I think I need a 50cent version of the "Summer pinata" from Napoleon Dynamite.

happy July 4th, and ode to my kidneys

GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!!!

This is the most awful thing I ever ingested.  ever.  and I of course am experiencing common and non-common side-effects.  yayee.

One thing that sucks about being a nurse?  Recognizing symptoms and the consequences of those symptoms quickly in myself- and jumping to worst case scenarios that must be ruled out QUICKLY!!

Thankfully, my CT scan showed no tumors anywhere in my pelvic regions, specifically my renal system.   I am the proud momma of kidney stones.  woohoo.

After talking to my parents, I discovered I have relatives on my paternal side that deal with this too.  So glad I get to share the love.  feh.

So I am still dealing w/ side-effects from my oral contrast...and they are NOT pretty side-effects.  I am hoping they will end soon since I am past 24 hrs from ingestion.

Meanwhile, Zbug is very clingy of momma, and Bub has a case of the giggles, as reported by Grandma.

SO--  Happy 4th of July!  Drink lots of water and be good to your kidneys!


(ps- happy anniversary to my parents!  love you!)

autism and being a mom

I stole/copied/borrowed this from my longtime friend and fellow autie mom Jigglypuff:

Autism Strong Mom

At first I was scared and I cried.
And than I looked around.

He was still my child.
I was still his mom.

Autism they said.

Everything seemed different.
But nothing really changed.

He was still my child.
I was still his mom.

Now I no longer cry.

I am an Autism Strong Mom. 

* from the Four Sea Stars Facebook page

This kinda thing upsets me.  I know that seems weird cuz it's obviously supposed to inspire strength and hope and all that jazz.  Not me, don't know why, maybe because I have grown cynical in my 30s, maybe because I cultivated a sarcastic bend in my 20s, who knows, but this pisses me off.

I have yet to met a single autie parent that "no longer cries"  BULL SHIT.  if they put that out they are LYING!!  they are a dirty lying cheat.  or they are the "refrigerator moms" pop psychology believed in for so long.  or they have a crippling addiction to *numbing drug of choice*. 

I will say this and I will stand by it.  No matter how much you love your child, no matter how strong you get, you will cry, you will be angry, you will blame yourself, you will blame your spouse, you will blame anything that makes any kind of reasonable case to have brought this onto your child, you will be flustered, you will be reduced to a crying sobbing heap of person from time to time because of autism.

It won't last.  you will feel better mostly.  Life will become the new normal.  there will be lots of happiness and laughter and love and understanding.  You will feel "autism strong mom"  but it is transitory.  you will only feel it on the "good" days.  

I hope I am not crushing some poor mom who just got a diagnosis and is trying to find something/anything to help her get thru the transition of diagnosis to acceptance.  I don't want to crush you, but neither do I want to lie to you and make you feel like a failure if you don't achieve this level of ...whatever the hell it's trying to set.  Good LORD we have enough problems learning to help our kids, do we have to put up some unrealistic level of acceptance for each other and wave it around other's faces to make us feel better about ourselves while crushing others???  don't we have enough to do other than play HS games?!?   f-that.

I love my son, and I still cry, and I am strong because I'm honest about it.

"

not-cation

sorry, I've been kinda down, and kinda tired, and kinda overworked (by choice).  kinda had Bub throwing toys at me.  Kinda had family stuff to do.  Kinda felt like my life is being sucked out.

Joe's in the same "kinda" mode...only he doesn't leave the house to be overworked, he's overworked IN the house and leaves the house to relax.  I try to not leave the house if I don't have to work.

I've been really bummed out.  pretty much have been operating on: work, pass out, spend an hour with the kids while I try to wake up, work, rinse-repeat.

Yesterday Joe convinced me I need to leave the house, and the kids were bouncing off the walls *really*  so we got chinese buffet, Bub picked nuggets, shrimpies, fries, and an egg roll.  and grapes.  and jello.  Zbug was stealing Bub's jello.  Zbug wouldn't eat her ice cream.  Zbug only ate the jello and some grapes (also stolen from Bub).  I think Bub's shrimpies had milk in the coating bc Bub started the "inappropriate laughter" routine while we stopped in at payless to get Joe some tennis shoes and Zbug a new pair of  "Pretty" shoes, and the only pair that currently fits is her tennis shoes that light up.  while she greatly enjoys her flashy shoes, it doesn't really go well with her Sunday dresses.  so after sizing her (I worked shoes in HS, so I do this myself since sales-people and my offspring do not mix well)  I found several "pretty" and pink-colored shoes and laid them out for Z to examine.  she was torn between a pair of Disney(c) sandals that lit up.....some glitter shoes and then the new shoes that she picked......

Rejected by Zber

Rejected glitters

Dorothy Gale shoes rejected *sniff*

Her brand new "PRETTY!!!" shoes.

Crap. I just noticed, Why are all the model shoes size 7????

So the feeling I get about my youngest is that she likes pretty girly stuff, but it better be functional, tough, and easy to put on.

Bub got nothing except mommy drag-pulling-carrying him out of the store as he tried to put shoelaces up his nose while laughing   Joe and Zbug completed the purchase.  we got home, and both kiddos were put to bed.  Zbug slept in her new shoes despite my repeated attempts to sneak in and remove them.  Joe thinks this is funny as he accuses me of being a "shoe-girl".

I was a "shoe-girl" once, but I have like 4 pairs now...(excepting my work shoes) and they are all over 4 years old....one pair is around 15years old since it predates Joe.  Maybe I am a shoe-girl since I still own them.......but they are really cool....

Despite the lack of new shoes for Bub yesterday,  my son was HUGELY happy with the set of Hanes(c) Boxer-briefs I bought him this morning.  so happy that he pee'd on the floor enough times to be able to wear each pair today, thus modeling each color and "breaking them in" simultaneously.



yayee me.



Joe is currently out at the health club working off some steam, which will be followed by a round of beer at the local wetting hole with some buddies.  all that male-bonding stuff or something since there are no coffee-houses here with random jazz/poetry sessions for him to attend....(that gen-x stuff....)

I however will find my trusty benedryl and snuggle up with that.  In rock-paper-scissors, benedryl beats coffee.  I have yet to find anyone to argue otherwise.

nub

class party

I actually made it to one of Bub's class events this year...the very last event.  end of the year party.  I attempted to make some peanutbutter ricecrispy treats, but I thought they were pretty oogy, so at the last min, (after my 45min nap after a 12hr shift) I cut up a bunch of fruit and we whisked off to his school.  only 2 other parents showed upin the classroom-I thought that was kinda sad, but the kids loved fruit salad.  I shoulda done my wiggles songs collection for them.  lol.
Zbug was rather intimidated by all the "big kids" and hid behind Bub for awhile, well, until Bub decided he didn't want his kid-sister hanging on him.  Zbug got the hint and found a teenee tiny chair in the corner to sit in, and then found a rocking chair..rocking chairs are endless sources of amusement I gather....

His teacher got big baked potatoes from a local deli for all the kids which was a GREAT idea since there are very few people in the entire world who have a potato allergy.  lol. apparently Bub loved his w/ just ketchup...as always.

Bub will be going to school next week as a voluntary thing.  Here in smalltown ETX the last week of school is optional for kids who are doing fine or didn't miss too much school during the year, Joe decided Bub should get that last week in, I had an aside w/ his teacher to make sure it was ok.

Anyhow.  it's been a better few days, Bub has been controlling his temper better, plus he got over his tummy bug on Monday, so maybe that was the core problem...

who knows with the mind of bub.  After dinner when Z was in bed, me and bub played "Starfall.com" on the PC, he knows how to use a mouse now.  yayee!

Nubs

PS- Bub and Z didn't think the pb treats were oogy...they devoured the whole tray while I was asleep this afternoon.

untitled

two days ago, Bub punched me in the arm really hard when I asked him if he wanted to sit with me and watch sponge bob.

after all the tantrum that followed addressing that unacceptable behavior, I bawled on Joe's shoulder for an hour (kids were asleep)

I really feel like my Bub is slipping away again.

words of the week

Zbug is starting to have the vocabulary explosion. Her new word that I am pushing  "please"...but she says /pa-layeea/  kinda...I am trying to get it phonically right in my description of her...but it has been nearly 20 years since I took linguistics...so forgive my excesses in my description of her cute attempts at pronunciation.  lol

Also cute from her is:  "Aye-min" after we pray,  "di-purrrr" when I tell her it's time to chop down the Zber tree, and "You Momma" but refusing to say her own name.  I also especially like hearing "NOOOO! No Nap!"  cuz it's funny when I tease her about it, but I really do wish she would just say "yes" to a nap every other day or so.

Too tire to share more.  loves to all.  :)

texas roadhouse

I kinda hate that I love a chain restaurant so much.   One thing I liked to take pride in was that Joe and I would search out little hole in the wall restaurants and out of the way places to find gems that were independently owned and spend our hard-earned monies on someone else who was earning it the hard way as well.

We have found a few really good independent restaurants here in smaller town TX, but I have to admit that I really really love texas roadhouse.

This is the story of my shame:

In my 1st year of nursing school, one of my very close friends got nominated/was self-nominated (I forget details) to chair our SNA fundraiser for March-of-Dimes.  This is a VERY dear cause for her and she did an AWESOME job getting it organized.  Being her friend and the secretary for the SNA, I was at the walk, with Bub,who was freaking out that there were so many people around him.
(sometimes autism rears it's ugly and fearful head no matter how you try to prepare for it)  Well, there was a small group of vendors moving thru the crowd, I think the roadhouse folks found me and Bub hiding near a tree while Bub was having an episode of inappropriate giggles with punching of the tree going on while I was trying to apply pressure to calm him.

I remember they asked if I needed help, No...I do this everyday (stress brings out my bad sarcasm...), then they tried to get Bub to give them a high five, which he did. then they offered me a free kids meal medallion, at first I refused it explaining that Bub was on a very special and limited diet and we really weren't able to take him to most restaurants because of his issues with Gluten and Casein.  they said they were able to make some thing from scratch if asked, and gave me a 2nd medallion.  I smiled my polite smile while thinking "dream on dude".  I threw the medallions in my silverware drawer.  they stayed there for over 2 years.

last October 31st Joe and I were trying to figure out what we could do cuz we don't do halloween.  (FYI- I do celebrate holidays...I just don't like halloween at all)  we were kinda broke (as always) and I remembered the free meal medallions.  By this time Bub is more able to handle gluten although his milk allergy is worse, I called the manager and talked about options for Bub and found out there were quite a lot as most people don't really want a lot of milk on their steaks.  (lol)  so we went, they let us reuse our medallions over and over, it's like there is no limit on them!!!  I love that we can eat there for under $30, and that $30 includes a VERY generous tip to the server that has to deal with Zbug's famous "tossing of the fries" and Bub's occasional screams when he messes up his Ipad.  Joe loves meat so he is happy.  the only catch for me is that we don't go on weekends.  Bub has a hard time when it is crowded, so we're typically there when they open at 4:30, usually on Mondays.  :)

cosmetic confession

Eden's blog today inspired this confession...

In 5th grade I convinced my mom to buy me make-up so I could continue to be cool (the  one and only time in my life I was ever in the "cool clique")

FYI...I was obsessed with Cyndi Lauper.  My parents wouldn't let me dress like her (my argument was..."But it's not like I want to dress like Madonna!!!")  (It didn't work)  So I finally convinced my mom to let me get make-up.  I got foundation..hot pink lip-stick, and a set of almost day-glo eyeshadows in blue, pink, green and yellowy-white, and pink tinted mascara.  

I do not have the complexion to carry-off hot pink lipstick.  I do not have the personality to carry-off day-glo make-up...

So I do my make-up a la Cyndi Lauper style,  all four colors of eyeshadow were on my lids...vertically.   coupled with hot-pink bubble-gum lips, and pink eyelashes.  and hop on the bus to school.

The 6th graders in my reading class mobbed me in the bathroom and made me wash it all off.
At the time I was horrified, but now I am glad they cared enough to keep me from being a complete fool.  Or am I just rationalizing?

To this day, I do NOT wear mascara...of any variety.

Isn't this a "little" classier for a 12 y/o than....

This?!?!?