Tuesday, September 13, 2011

This posting is a real facebook conversation I had

 This posting is a real facebook conversation I had w/ one of my friends from childhood who also has a son with autism.  Names are changed to protect our children, families, and people who don't get it...
Please enjoy the music....
POSTING ON Facebook:
Article: Son with autism elopes, reminds parents to remain vigilant
Holly:   Henry is prone to wandering. This article really explains the fear and panic you go through as a parent. The last time Henry wandered off I found him at the neighbors house. Since we were planning to go there later in the day, it was the first place I looked. I just pray that he doesn't wander again.

    • Muppethead:   Bub wandered off from us once when a bunch of family was visiting. I don't like having lots of people over anymore because of it. Way too distracting to have people to entertain and risk losing track of where he is. I never want to go thru that again.
      41 minutes ago ·

    • Holly:  I feel the same way. I do not have "fun" when we do have people over because I feel that I have to watch Henry the whole time. People probably think I am rude when in mid conversation I bolt because Henry is leaving the room.
      38 minutes ago ·

    • Muppethead:  I know. and then other family members get upset because you don't want to do big reunions or holiday get-togethers. Every time I bring Bub to one I am a mess!
      37 minutes ago ·  

    • Holly:  Yup I totally agree. The work and the emotional toll being out at something like that is so hard to explain. The older Henry gets the less I enjoy hosting Thanksgiving with everyone. It is my favorite holiday, but at 7 Henry can let himself right out of the house with ease. When he was 4 I could lock the door and feel pretty secure he wouldn't get out. No longer.
      31 minutes ago ·

    • Muppethead:  Last Christmas, at grandma's with all the relatives visiting...Bub got so upset he stripped. I was actually happier with that than the time he ran off.
      29 minutes ago · ·

    • Holly:  At Christmas I try to pick a room that can be just for Henry. I take him to that room first and we sit down and talk about our safe room. I tell him that if things are too loud or hurting him that he can go to this room to calm his body and get away from everything. Then when I see things getting too crazy for him, I suggest the room. "Henry do you need to go to the safe room?" He usually replies with a very thankful "yes" and off we go to the safe room. (sometimes I wish I had my own safe room...tee hee)
      Muppethead
    • can I take our string of comments and use it as my next blog entry? would you be ok with that
    • Heidi Zetterwall
      47 minutes ago
      Holly:
      that is a-ok with me. I am just hoping my family actually reads it. more specifically my in laws. did I ever tell you that *deleted*  asked me when Henry would be cured?
    • Nina Simpson
      46 minutes ago
      Muppethead
      • REALLY?!? Did you tell him Henry will be cured when *deleted's* brain starts working?
      • I would be super upset...
    • Heidi Zetterwall
      45 minutes ago
      HollyI was super upset, but I know *deleted* is just old and doesn't really understand
    • Nina Simpson
      44 minutes ago
      Muppethead
      • Back to the reunion- ... watching Bub streak... *I was laughing my ass off on the inside...*
    • Heidi Zetterwall
      43 minutes ago
      Holly
      but that is exactly what I was thinking, he will be cured when your "foot in mouth" disorder is cured
      that is super funny on the streaking...it is sometimes nice to be able to look back on it and realize that now people will better understand

    • Nina Simpson
      44 minutes ago
      Muppethead
      • I'm sorry you have to go thru that.
    • Heidi Zetterwall
      43 minutes ago
      Holly
      • good to hear that there is progress
      • I think there is progress with our family too, it goes in spurts
    • Nina Simpson
      42 minutes ago
      Muppethead
      • yes. A lot. oddly..I think Henry has helped MY parents better understand what life w/ Bub is like. They tell me about you and Henry a lot. :):)
    • Heidi Zetterwall
      41 minutes ago
      Holly
      • that is good
      • did they witness the meltdown at Sunday School Rally day on Sunday?
    • Nina Simpson
      38 minutes ago
      Muppethead
      • It would only have been Dad. Mom's in CA


    • We go on like this for another hour or so. It's nice to have friends that get it.  that I don't have to go into great and detailed background with...that I can say "elopement" and they say.."Yes!  That happened to us too!  It was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me!!!"  
      Although, I am not happy that this has happened to my friend...I'm just happy I can talk to her and not get the "yeah...here's another crazy B...run away" look.
      Gnite folks.  :) 

Monday, September 12, 2011

autism vs neurotypical: Zbear

Last night Zbear was up late bc she didn't get a nap until 2pm D/T church and lunch afterwards.  So I had the rare chance of play w/ just her after Bub went to bed bc he had school in the morning.

What was so wonderful for me is that she understands typical "baby" games.  she had a bath and after I finished drying and dressing her we played tug of war with the towel and chase.  Bub never got those kinds of games until he was much older, like 4 years old, and after much patient teaching, over and over and over.  Bub does get games, but it takes a long long time to get the concept thru to his reality, and communicate the give and take of a game, and the understanding the necessity of taking turns.  Z seems to understand this intuitively.

I know this sounds silly to most other moms, but I never saw this before her.  Bub was so atypical that even tho I read about it in my human development classes, psych classes, and Pediatric Nursing classes, it was my reality and I couldn't really imagine what normal development would look like as a reality.

Later on, we played with a truck, where I would push it to her and she would push it back to me.  Bub still struggles with this game.  He'll capture the truck/ball, maybe push it again, but not to me, off into a corner instead as if to say, "you play the game wrong momma". 

But Zber and I played and played.  Her little laugh brought a lot of sunshine into my heart yesterday.  I thank God for both my kiddos and their strengths and weaknesses.

"That's it...no more Christmas cards for you"

I got home from church and wrote a really bitter hurting blog about a passive-aggressive coward I sorta encountered (they were passive-aggressive...so it wasn't a REAL encounter...just a sorta encounter). Then I saved it into my edit posts and didn't publish it because I felt that in doing so I would be a passive-aggressive coward.  I don't want to be that.  I would like to hope that if I have to say something to someone, I would say it to their face and not hide behind my blog hoping they get it.  I would also hope that I am a big enough person that I could let this go without needing to take a trip to my friendly family doctor to see about getting a Rx to a friendly anti-anxiety pill....but the anxiety and anger and pissiness increases 10fold each week I have a sorta encounter with this person.  I haven't made it a real encounter yet because I don't quite trust myself not to say something mean, cruel, ugly and hateful.  So I do what I always do when I feel this way.  I shut the eff up.and I nod and smile.  and my friends ask me why I'm not getting that friendly Rx for an anti-anxiety pill.

after a while I talked to my Dad.  Now my Dad is the OPPOSITE of passive-aggressive. He "brags" about scaring the crap out of a coworker that called him a "damn Russian" back in the 60s   (although he denies it mostly...he's more proud about being Ukrainian than he lets on...)  and fortunately/unfortunately I take after my Dad, especially in temperament and personality. getting his take helped, although I had to explain to my Dad the equivalent  to him of my complaint would be like people who stop sending him Christmas cards one year and never send them again.  He laughed at that.  That I can make my Dad laugh while I'm all pissy and mad did help me cheer a bit.  but then, Dad and I do best when we sally at each other in mock arguments.  lol.  Mom hates that.  we're shouting and yelling at each other and we mean "I love you" and understand it back from the other.  She gets it, but she doesn't like it.  I don't do that with Mom, just Dad.  Don't even do it with Joe.  When me and Dad start, Joe goes and hides in the corner with Mom and drinks tea with her while she plies him with cookies.  Joe's awesome.  So's Mom.

At least I got to spend some time with my mother in law at church this morning.  That was the only good thing I got out of it this week.  :(

Thursday, September 08, 2011

where will it end?!?

I keep adding more blogs to my reading list.  I started by being interested in some bloggers of the day...then I found some gems with the randomiser at the top "next blog" button when I view my own blog (to make Triple sure that it doesn't look *too* stupid and I caught the majority of my not-on-purpose typos)
(Yes, I do put in on-purpose typos....I am a nerd...with my own personal vocabulary and lexicon... ask Joe...)

then I started finding people on the comments of the blogs I read, because their comment was funny...and reminded me of me. (because I am always surprised that other people have the same type of ideas/reactions I do)

I don't even know these people, but I know more about their current lives than some of the people I actually interact with on a daily basis. (not necessarily calling them "friends", you know?!?)

I do comment sometimes...but typically not. I supposed I must seem to be a random lurker when I show up in their followers queue.

Anyhow....It's Thursday morning...I scammed a paid day off, so I don't have to work today...yayee me!  Bub is going to speech therapy at 9, so I can procrastinate making his allergen free lunch...already fed the kiddos and changed the Zbear's pee-pee diaper.  Rowan is dressed and already snuck outside to jump on the trampoline.

It's cute watching him jump.  He doesn't jump like normal kids with flippies and such...he does a kind of moon-walk around the perimeter of the trampoline.  Once I get a new camera, I'll try to post a clip of it.

Also today, Zbear no longer launches into you if you roar at her.  Now she takes a few steps towards you, then remembers she should be "scared" and then runs away screeching with laughter. silly Zber.

Joe emerged from the bedroom around 615 begging me to make coffee.  poor man, his face looked like a fried egg...how could I deny him the coffee.  The kids even went to bed early last night, so I don't know what massacred him...maybe it's the ambiant smoke in the air from all the local wildfires.

*aside*
I was watching the local news a few days ago, and some yokel said "it's spreading like wildfire".  Really.  wildfire spreading like wildfire....I wonder how many grades you made it thru....  wow.  (hope the guy isn't a relative of one of my friends...sorry if he is,,,ET is kinda small that way...)

nubs

Friday, September 02, 2011

autism and sense of humor

Now my Bub likes to play a joke.  he likes to do "slightly" naughty things while he knows you are watching him, all the while grinning like a cheshire cat.  He also will draw silly pictures to make you laugh, put his toys in a weird arrangement to make you laugh, and do a sneak-attack tickle.   Bub loves laughing.

however, Bub is not so good at being the object of a joke from Daddy....  Joe and Bub were outside after school, Bub is bouncing on the trampoline, being a happy bouncy Bub, Joe is working on chain mail.  Joe sees a school bus go by, and sez, "look Bub, the bus is back, it must be time for you to go back to school now, get your backpack."

Bub's retort?  He went screaming into the house like bloody murder and started crying in the bathroom after slamming the door shut after himself.  I thought a bee got him.  poor guy sobbing on my shirt.  Joe comes in and tells me the above.  Really Joe?  You tell him that after the "throw him in the creek" debacle?

Yea for autism making things interpreted literally, and a Joe that wants to joke around with Bub the way his Dad joked around with him.


Joe...just wait for Zbear to get a little older....

Bub was fine after a few min of me explaining school is over for the day, and we counted and named the days off he has until he goes back to school (Tuesday).

Now I just wish I knew why the thought of going to school was so upsetting... hrm.

Nubs

it's bad when both of us are sleep deprived...

So yesterday, Joe couldn't get Zbear to take her nap until after 2pm...and he chose not to wake her up after I left for work...so she woke up at midnight...spent the rest of the night keeping Daddy awake and crabby, and waited for me to get home (late...thanks Nurse who relieved me....) *insert sarcasm*.

She was all excited for her ba-ba...She even said "Ba-ba!" then ran to the door of our room, waiting for her glorious bottle of soy-formula goodness.  Well, it's 45 min later, she is not asleep yet.  I think I need to get the book "Go the F*ck To Sleep".  I mentioned it to Joe, he has not heard of it yet.  ?!?!?  But he thought it was funny.

Meanwhile, just minuets before I got home, Bub had a coprogenic moment...and I walked in to short-patient daddy cleaning poo off the floor.  What a great way to start Friday...  Bub's in the tub cleaning up.  a short litany of unmentionable oaths streaming from near the floor of Bub's room, and a screamy baby attacking my knee regions.


Oddly, this makes me think of something my wise friend Jon Carlson said to me once when I was 17, and I didn't believe him then...But I TOTALLY get it now...
He said marriages don't last based on love. Commitment makes it last.  At the time, in my HS angst, I thought he was a heartless bastard, and way too jaded being only 19. However...Love does not make it thru poop filled floors, and diapers for 6 years (not fun), and occasional puddles of urine decorating our child's floor, not to mention the infrequent poop murals on the wall.  If all we had was love, we'd be one the the statistic of divorced parents of special needs kids.  Thankfully we have love and commitment.   I used to tell Joe "tough, you're stuck with me" long before Bub came along...I'm glad Joe agrees that I'm stuck with him too.

I love my honey, even when he's washed his hands 3 times and tells me they still smell like poo.

Nubs.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

bub...didja HAVE to break my camera?

Yep, he got a hold of it the day he was "sick", cuz I was going to take a picture of him practicing writing while "sick" in bed, opened the door to the room, and find him bopping around his room instead, w/ no pants or underwear on and a big ol' puddle on the floor.
*lovely*

This part is my fault in this...I chased Bub to the bathroom and put down the camera  so I could clean him off while Joe took on the room/floor cleanup.  I promptly forgot about the camera btwn Bub doing a preemptive freakout in fear of momma secretly planning to give him a shampoo while in the bath (I wasn't planning it, but that's what he thinks...), and Zbear screaming because she's jealous Bub is in the tub, and I won't let her in the bathroom.

After bath and room detail, Bub finds the camera, quietly squirrels it into his room, turns it on and pushes the lense back into the camera while it is on...and breaks the gear that operated the lense.  Joe tried to fix it, but the gears were too fargone.

So I won't have pictures for a while.  boo.  Hopefully we will get a new camera around the 1st of the month.  I'm in digital photography withdrawl.  :(

Nubs

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Bub and his antics

We get the call from Bub's school..."Bub is sick, please pick him up now".  Really?!?

Joe gets Bub, is informed that he wouldn't eat, and pointed to his throat when asked if he was hurting, and refused to take an oral or axillary temp.  thank God they didn't try a rectal temp, right?  Joe, being the well trained Nurse's husband asked, "didn't you try taking his temp w/ a temporal thermometer?"  the response of the school nurse was..."we will be purchasing one in the very near future."  
*insert eye rolling*

Once Joe talked to Bub's aide, the story took a slightly different tone.  when Bub pointed to his throat, he was moving his pointer finger from the top of his throat to the bottom of his throat.  That is "drink" in ASL.  When they kept asking if his throat hurt he started crying.

Momma translation:  I am thirsty and you don't understand me, I think I will cry now because I am thirsty and mad.

*Insert my head pounding on the counter*

Bub's temp is 98.7- normal.  after 3 attempts, got to see the throat: no redness, no swelling.  No glandular swelling in the cervical (neck) area.  ears clean and clear, nose clear, eyes bright, MM pink & moist. 

Bub is fine.  Bub has now learned to fake getting sick to get out of school.  My gratitude abounds.

Bub is now in his room, in BED since he's "sick", and I have him practicing writing his letters on his little leapfrog electronic pad thingy grandma got him.  Gave him Jello, and Joe bought him some soda on the way home from school.   Bub is no longer "thirsty"

Thinking of printing out this post as Bub's excuse note for school tomorrow.

Nubs

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

really?!?!

So I'm starting to get "concerned" w/ Z's dearthness of speech.  I hear "up", "Cat", "Bye bye" , "Ba-ba(bottle)", and "Da-da", and (bub's name), and some "mama"s every now and then.  This is really getting to me.  I've been spending a lot of time on vocal-type exercises with her...she just gets mad at me.  I've been reading more to her than normal...she gets bored and then mad when I don't let her wiggle away.  Joe tells me to calm down.  I try.  maybe my friend Shirley is right and I really am a pessimist at heart.  I always thought I was more a realistic person than pessimist, but maybe I was wrong.

I took Z shopping today, there was a special on formula at toys R us...well it was advertised, but I didn't see the offer in the store, AND they didn't have the right kind in stock...and it was WAY more expensive than if I went and got it at Target or my grocery store...so instead I got her a potty, (she's been peeing pretty predictably right before a bath), a shape puzzle (to further help with speech exercises), and some batteries on sale (to power up the electronic speech-inducing toys for her to play with).  I also have drastically cut down on the TV being on in the house while she's up (Joe has taken refuge from the TV "ban" by watching stuff on the PC w/ his earplugs in while working on chainmail), and pulled out and cleaned up a bunch of books we used to use w/ Bub when he was about 3 y/o.
So at Toys R us, she was really happy with all the toys around her (of course), and we stopped and played with a few.  She played little miss mute at the counter, wouldn't even wave.  boo
Then to payless, and new shoes.  She REALLY liked finding shoes.  there was a really cute pair of ugg-like boot she really liked, but hell no if I'm spending $25+ on a pair of boot that won't fit her next month!  She can wait until she's 3.  really.  And Then she DID wave "bybye" to the lady at payless.  that made my heart really happy.
She loves the sneakers especially



Joe reported that she peed in the potty just before her after dinner bath.  yayee...that's a good thing I'm going to hold on to today.

Monday, August 22, 2011

finally some rain!

it rain today for the first time in what seems like forever.  not anything NEAR enough what we need here in drought-stricken ET, but enough for Lil Miss Z to get her mud puddle on...








 After the muddy fun, we waited for Bub to come home from his 1st day of school.  It was a bigish day for Bub, he has the same teacher he had his 2nd year of school.  Plus he is now in a "life skills" class with kiddos up to 12 y/o.  Bub is no longer the biggest fish in the pond.  lol.  But with the way he's been growing, and how hungry the risperidone is making him...He may be catching up soon.  erk.

Home again home again, jiggity jig.
After he got home, we went out for dinner, I let Bub pick what he wanted to eat.  Lots of jello...and fries, and fish.  a few shrimp. and a cup of ketchup.  what a lucky little boy.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Heck yeah, I did it.

6 flipping 12 hour shifts in a row completed.

I am so tired.

I don't think my kiddo's recognize me.

I'm never doing this again...I feel so draggy.

I hear lil miss Z bopping around in her crib.  I should go and get her, but I am trying to deflate from the stress of work, and I am feeling guilty because she prolly has a diaper full of  "end products".    I guess I should go and retrieve her and make Joe wake up so I can get some sleep.

Wish I had the energy to make crepes for my Bub this morning, but he's going to have to wait until Saturday. boo me.

Nubs

Friday, August 12, 2011

sometimes you have to be brave

I chopped off my hair.  it's really short.  I like it, but am in shock a little over my daringness.  I typically am much more mild-mannered.  I was/am the "straight-man" to most of my daring friends. ( I tend to be drawn to daring people without being daring typically).   The one who said "ok guys, this is a BAD idea" and then proceeded to lock myself away from the naughtiness...mostly.  The few times in my life I have done something daring, I have always had positive things happen as a result, so I don't know why I shy away from that side of myself so often.  Maybe I don't want to push my luck?  and just save up all the chances for one big hurrah?  not sure, but I found it funny that most of my co-workers didn't recognize me until they saw me face on last night.  hee.  I guess you got to be shocking and unexpected every now and then just to keep people guessing.

before the chop





after the chop




*mommy moment*
Isn't my sweet Z photogenic?  awww....
*end mommy moment*

nubs!

Friday, August 05, 2011

medieval solutions to autism, lol

Yes, Joe and I are sometimes.... weird.
In the past we have experimented with weighted therapy for Bub, w/ fair to middling success.  ie- he likes it for a while then refuses to co-operate.  We've done a weighted vest (I've made 2 of them so far), ankle weights, wrist weights, pressure vests, weighted blankets, and weighted toys.  all initially a success, then the novelty wears off, and he loses interest, and the therapeutic results fade.  Pretty frustrating to me, as I am the one MAKING these things for Bub, and researching where I can buy them...and they aren't cheap, even when you make it yourself.

well, Joe is always lurking around trying to find new hobbies to do while the kids are too small to go back to work (being a stay at home dad and all).  a few weeks back, he remembered a friend that used to make chain-mail (we've been wracking our memories and have concluded this friend was named "Rick"...and that's all we remember from 14 years ago...sorry Rick...we suck).  And as Joe has a passion for all things Renaissance Faire, he decided to try making chain mail.  Bub was immediately interested in what Daddy was doing. Bub really likes the coiled wire before Joe cuts them into the rings that get linked together.  Bub even likes to help join the rings together and make a simple chain.

But what was fanstastic was that Bub started putting the chain mail on his body and began to calm down.  and then fell asleep...in the middle of the afternoon!!!!  Bub does not nap unless he is sick with a fever and vomiting down my shirt sick. A chain mail blanket is soothing to him, and for the past 3 weeks, Bub has been taking his chain mail blanket to bed with him and falling asleep within 10 min of turning his own lights off.  I am speechless every night this happens, and it's been happening every night.

Even during his time-outs, if I put the chain mail on his legs, he will sit still in time-out until I tell him it's over, and won't even fuss.   I am shocked speechless by this  (well, it's just an expression).

close up

sleeping Bub, life is good  :)
I think all the weighted stuff we tried in the past were not heavy enough.  I would only get up to 5-10% of his body weight as all the authorities on the subject would recommend.  I think this chain mail is at least 15-20% of his body weight, and it seems to be working, and continuing to capture his attention beyond the novelity phase.
Joe is making another one, I think it's going to be for school.  we'll see.

Nubs

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

what I get for trying to be a nice momma

And today:
Bub started today in a good mood.  he let me make pancakes w/o being in my way.  This is a big accomplishment for Bub...as pancakes are a favorite of his.  He refused to eat his peaches tho.  Ha ha on him, Momma snuck bananas in the pancakes.  hee.

Then while Zbear was napping, I decided to make corndogs from scratch for lunch.  This is a big deal for me since I can not find any edible version of corndogs that exclude forbidden ingredients from the stores (milk products mainly)  The few that I did find, I couldn't gag down, Joe barely ate (and he's a corndog lover) and Bub walked away from, and Bub never walks away from any kind of hotdog.
It started well.  Bub was all interested in what I was doing...until I rolled the hotdogs in flour.  Oh, the wailing.  Bub was convinced I was destroying his beloved hotdogs.  normally I'm not phased by this, but I had a vat of hot grease going on the range near the fussing of this little man. 
Momma started to loose her cool, Bub protested by climbing up the cabinets to get corn chips in protest, and promptly was sent to his room to take a time out in his bed.  more wailing and moaning.
Then when I finished making the corndogs and french fries, he peeled the coating off.  !!!!  in his favor I will say he came back 10 min later and did eat the coatings, but by then, after I finished monitoring Zbear's eating of the highly minced corndogs, I felt SICK, and I didn't eat anything.  Joe said it was good, but I felt like hurling.  Took a bath, during which time Bub snuck off to his room and protested the whole affair by pooping on the floor.

yayee us.

After cleanup (Joe did the floor, I did the Bub) I meant to only rest for a half hour, but Joe woke me up just before 7pm.  I slept thru our free babysitting offer and we missed our date night.  I feel really bad for that, plus I still feel sick.

The pharmacy called and said they aren't going to be able to refill Bub's risperidone until tomorrow, and unadvertantly sometime during the adventures in cooking I knocked over the box with his meds and we had a 20 min freakout thinking Bub climbed up the stove and ate himself an overdose of a hefty anti-psychotic.  Thankfully, as I said it was just knocked over, and now I am trying to think of a different safe location to keep his meds.  There is really nowhere in the house I can guarantee Bub won't get into, he is a marvel at engineering feats.  He figured out how to unscrew his door off the hinges when he found Joe's secret stash of screwdrivers.

well, at least he is happily asleep right now, as is Zbear.  I'm hitting up the pepto and hoping to feel better in the morning, so I can be ready for what Bub dishes up for me next.

attempting to pose while wearing his sister's snuggly hat
Nubs

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

adventures today

So, now that we are entering THE worst month to live in TX, because it is SO stinkin' hot...Joe and I are trying to come up w/ creative and cheap ways of getting the cabin-fever kids out of the house for a while.  today, at 4pm CST it was 116 farenheit.  WTF?!?!?!?

Any way you slice it it has been an eventful day.

It began @6:30 when Zber decided to wake up, by 7:00 she & Bub were eating breakfast, Z decided she wanted to be a big girl and stand up at the table in a big-person chair instead of her high chair. Momma made Big mistake to let her do that....she lost her balance and did a face flop on the floor and busted open her upper lip.  So Momma had to break the 10 am rule of "no popsicles before 10 am" (you know, to get the bleeding mouth to stop bleeding).  and since Z was slurping up a popsi, Bub had to have one too, otherwise non-verbal cries of loud unfairness would puncture my poor ears when all I really want to hear is coffee brewing....

so after that, poor Zbear had a really, REALLY fat upper lip.  like her mouth was just an upper lip.  No, I didn't take pictures of my poor baby's disfigured lip.  (it's normal again already).  Bub was all huggy towards Z today after she finished her crying post-face-flop, but little Miss Z did not want to be hugged on...so there was lots of momma pulling them apart until nap time.

***Side thought***
*have I told you all how much I love nap time?  Have I told you how much I cried when Bub stopped taking his nap everyday?!?  I wish nap time didn't end until age 65...then I would get one too....lol*
***end side thought***

After nap we all had lunch, even Bub decided eating the food I made him was a good idea.  He sometimes thinks eating should only involve sweets and popsicles.  we "argue" about this frequently.  Arguing meaning a conversation like this:

*hears the fridge door open*
Momma: Bub, close the fridge door.

Bub: *Door slam* "Aaaaahg!"   *Bub comes over to me and pulls my hands towards the kitchen*

Momma: What are you asking me for Bub?

Bub: *signs "Help"*

Momma: What do you want help with Bub?

Bub: *signs "help", pulls me toward the kitchen*

Momma:  No Bub, you have to eat your dinner before you have a popsicle.

Bub: *throwing himself on the floor "Aaaahg!!!!!!!"*
Repeat X5

This conversation happens frequently in my house, just switch "Breakfast" and "Lunch" for "dinner"

Meanwhile, the power company (the one we pay to have our power mysteriously out for hours at a time at least once a week in good weather) stops at our door and asks if we will let them cut down some branches over the power line in our backyard, or if we want to do it ourselves...I answer, "that's really up to my landlord, as we don't OWN the property".  So between Joe and I, we get our landlord on the phone who then grants permission of the general heyday of branch cutting...which turned into an ENTIRE TREE being chopped down in the back yard.

As a plus to the wanton Shade murder (remember-116degrees, I like shade...) Joe thinks there is a piece of wood out there that will make a great bowl if he can find all his tools to turn it.  I think it's a knobbley root piece of wood.  It was too hot for me to really go out and inspect, esp since an enormous chunk of shade is now missing from the backyard... grrr..

so to escape the loud chainsaw tree massacre we loaded the kids up into the car and when to the mall.  Bub was so well behaved.  He made his momma proud.  Z however wanted to run off every chance she got!  Bub was an excellent big brother and kept herding her back to us.  it was really cute.
they had this hurricane stimulator booth for $2 in one of the main areas, Joe thought he and Bub should give it a try.  once the wind started, Bub did his "unhappy ALMOST but not quite scream" and flopopped  out of the booth and insisted that we should put about 30 ft distance between us and the booth.  Momma complied rather than make my poor guy freak out.
He was very interested in the trampoline thingy that needed cables and a harness attached to the jumper.  Momma and Daddy decided he's not quite ready for that yet...at least not until we replace the netting on our trampoline.  Best not give the boy too many ideas that involve him flipping off the trampoline and onto the ground...we already coped w/ a broken arm 2 years ago...   And he still makes a pretend cast out of toilet paper every now and then

finally, dinner, which bub has refused, and I am refusing to allow popsicles.  He still thinks he will win this argument...I know better.  It's nice being a mom.  lol!

Me and Z!

Me and my Bub

making Chainmail w/ daddy


Enjoy the shots!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

at least I buy the washable kind, non-toxic and all.....

This is what happens at our house when Bub forgets to put his markers away....


looks like she got "smudged" by a vulcan at the winter carnival...

Zbear-never grow a beard...it's not you...


washie washie

She's not really liking the mouth being washed out....



"am I clean yet?"

all pretty again!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

oops & more on parenting austim

I have woefully neglected my blogging.  sorries.


I'm half heartedly watching "The Proposal" w/ Sandra Bullock and Betty White.  So I'm sitting there on my couch watching this, and we get to the scene where Andrew is having a heart to heart with his dad by the shore. they are "arguing" about Andrew's choice of direction of life, which is not what his father wanted him to do...his father wanted him to continue his legacy.  Even in this short scene it is obvious that this was the father's life dream for his son.  And, being a 20-something post gen-X stereotypical man, Andrew was upset that his father couldn't understand his life choices or maybe that his father didn't want to accept his life choices.

and I immediately realized, I no longer identify with the Andrew character.  This is kind of shocking to me.  I was identifying with the father.  my next thought was something to the effect, "you know, I'm actually really glad I won't ever have that conversation w/ Bub, even if we are blessed enough to ever have that kind of conversation this side of heaven, because I gave up all those kind of dreams for him when I got his diagnosis of autism"

then I started crying.  It's not that I don't have dreams and hopes for him, it's that I realized it's not reality to think I'll ever get him to be a soprano in an all boys choir...or that he'll  be some big professional of his choosing.  or anything that most parents think and wish for their kids.  My dream is just to help him be the best he can be, and that Joe and I have the wisdom AND patience to help him achieve what he wants to achieve.

Bub lost his 3rd tooth- AND I actually found it!  A first for us!
See how weird I am?  I take a normal blah scene from a B-movie and turn it into a metacrisis of identity of myself.  I think bedtime is in order with a dose of benedryl.
nubs

Thursday, July 14, 2011

more of the world from Bub, and a monkey salad bowl

Bub has been doing really well on Risperidone.  Tomorrow will be a week on it.  next Thursday I need to call his Doctor and report on how he's doing.  Peeing in the potty has improved...pooping...not so much yet.  He has been VERBALIZING!!!  Grandma caught him on tape saying "Big!" as he built a lego tower that was taller than he was.  -I- heard him say "big" while he was building a plastic easter-egg tower yesterday...and he almost never verbalizes around me...lil stinker...  lol

I met with his school nurse on Tuesday to update her on his new med and side effects to look for (most rare yet possible- neuroleptic malignant syndrome)  she never heard of either the drug or the side effects.  REALLY?  not remember NMS?  I remember VERY well Ms Wyszynski going over that in Med Surg III.  telling us how to "snatch that patient from the grip of death"  as NMS is pretty fatal if you don't identify and address it very quickly.  Bub's Dr and I talked for a great while about how frequent that side effect had manifested in her years of practice (very VERY little).  I told the school nurse that if he shows symptoms of NMS call 911.  She said they don't like doing that w/o calling the parents first.   !!!!???!!???!  call me, I'll call 911 and meet him at the hospital!  Seriously...if you had a kid go into a diabetic coma (likely in a school setting at some point), you would call the parents before you dialed 911?  I have grave concerns about this nurse and her desire to protect her license....

ANYhow,
I was going thru the pictures on my camera and noticed some pictures I didn't take, and aren't in the style or nature of pictures Joe would take..(Joe takes pictures when I hand him the camera and say, "Just take a picture of me and the kids already!!!!!")  And Bub has been understanding the camera, and loves to turn it on while making his "elaborations" to watch the progress on screen, like he's on TV or something.  :)  it's cute.  But I think he actually took some pictures while he was viewing his progress.  I need to buy him a cheap $20 digital camera soon, so he won't keep stealing my pricey one!  lol


I took this picture of his geo-work  by the driveway



Self-portrait taken by Bub...how about them nostrils?  hee!




Rolly-balls!  Bub LOVES his rolly-balls!  Unfortunately, Zbear does too...





More rolly-balls!


And a while back...I posted about Zbear pulling out the Monkey wood salad bowl my parents got us.  I found the shot.  Click HERE for that post.


Monkey girl in monkey bowl!


Nubs to you all!  Good night!

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Committed!

No, I'm not in a lock-up unit (tho there are those who would argue that I should be....)

I committed to accepting Gunk (Baby) as a new member of our household.  Zbear will love him (she met him once) and Bub will freak out for a while, then I believe he will get used to him.  Joe will love having a black cat in our house.  (Joe gets into that kinda thing...have I mentioned that before?)

I think we may give the kitty a new "nickname" (Sir prowley pounce is what I would call him when he would pounce on me at work)  But I know I'll always revert to "Bay-bee" the way his Daddy used to always call him.
*I'm getting kinda sniffly now*  I still miss him.  It will be nice to know that I'm giving his cat a really good home with lots of love.  He talked to be about it and asked me if I would consider it before he passed.  When he died, I knew everyone making those decisions was overwhelmed, and I didn't want to add another problem/issue to their already full plate.  But I am mainly excited, with a little trepidation (for Bub's sake) about this little guy coming home to us.  :)

On a side note, I got home to Bub's mini-trampoline out in the car-port and all his toys sitting out in the kitchen.  I think Bub and Joe had some serious "issues" last nite.  I think Joe won and Bub is going to be on the crabby side of life today.  Glad I'm going to be sleeping thru the worst of it.  BAHAHAHAHAHAH!  (I'm terrible) 

Nubs.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

meds for Bub continues

Like I said, we have a script for Risperidone for Bub, but we can't fill it yet (well, we could, but I can't I/D it) until after he gets his baseline labs drawn.  I'm a little frustrated with this currently.  After his appt on the 21st, I got super sicky and was not functional until that Friday after 5pm...so of course, Joe didn't call Bub's pediatrician (since that is the mommy/nurse job) *roll eyes*. So on Monday I called to ask whether we wanted to draw blood for Bub in the office while an unspecified number of us pinned him to the floor...or if they wanted to send us to a lab that has access to all sorts of wonderful restraining devices.  The RN I talked to (who I went to school with) sd she'd have to ask the MD.  ok, I figured that.

So it's Friday, again...and no one has called to let me know what the deal is.  So I call, start the story over again, am told I have to bring the script in before anything can be done.  ????
I already got the specialist's report in the mail...that means my reg Pediatrician did too.  In MY copy of the report it was stated that Bub needed a liver profile and FBS baseline b4 starting Risperdol...what more do you need to call me back to get things going?!?  I am seriously wanting to join in w/ Bub on the banging the head on the wall thing....maybe we can bang on each other's heads for a while....  SO I dropped off the script 1/2 hour before they close for the holiday weekend.  which means I prolly won't get Bub's labs drawn until the week of the 11th.  I'm a little flustrated about all this.  well a lot frustrated.  but I guess I will deal, what else can be done?

Me and Zbear played outside for a good while today before it got hot and before her nap (love that she still naps).  She insisted on eating dirt...twice.  apparently momma is not to be believed when momma sez dirt is nasty and ooky for the mouth.  maybe zber is convinced it's free chocolate waiting for whoever grabs it first?  well, that's what she acted like.

Nubs

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