Balancing act: Bub and Z = Autism vs "Normal"

Some days I really struggle w/ balancing btwn Bub and Z's needs and wants.  On one hand, Bub was used to being the ONLY for 5 years, and although Z has MELLOWED him out by leaps and bounds, he struggles w/ the need for attention from Momma.  Meanwhile, Z insists on Momma time too, and I want to spend a lot of time w/ her focusing on learning age-appropriate skills and hawk-eyed watching for any red flags.

While it may be described as unusual for a child w/ autism to seek out attention, Bub thrives on attention.  He creates antics to GET you to pay attention to him, and loves it when you join in & play w/ him.  He even gets Z to play w/ him even though she has no clue as to what she is supposed to be doing.

and then I think about what is life going to be like once Z catches up to Bub and surpasses his skills and mentality level?  Will I have spent enough time with her by then to teach her to be loving, patient, compassionate, and kind to her brother?  Will I spend too much time trying to help Bub compensate for her skills and make her bitter and resentful of her brother?  Will I be able to continue balancing the two of them in a way that leaves everyone happy, or will I be a spaz and blind to the reality of the situation.

Right now they love each other very much.  I hope I will be able to keep the balance so they continuing loving each other the rest of their lives.  (I'm getting all sobby now, I really suck today- sorry)

Nubs