Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Balancing act: Bub and Z = Autism vs "Normal"

Some days I really struggle w/ balancing btwn Bub and Z's needs and wants.  On one hand, Bub was used to being the ONLY for 5 years, and although Z has MELLOWED him out by leaps and bounds, he struggles w/ the need for attention from Momma.  Meanwhile, Z insists on Momma time too, and I want to spend a lot of time w/ her focusing on learning age-appropriate skills and hawk-eyed watching for any red flags.

While it may be described as unusual for a child w/ autism to seek out attention, Bub thrives on attention.  He creates antics to GET you to pay attention to him, and loves it when you join in & play w/ him.  He even gets Z to play w/ him even though she has no clue as to what she is supposed to be doing.

and then I think about what is life going to be like once Z catches up to Bub and surpasses his skills and mentality level?  Will I have spent enough time with her by then to teach her to be loving, patient, compassionate, and kind to her brother?  Will I spend too much time trying to help Bub compensate for her skills and make her bitter and resentful of her brother?  Will I be able to continue balancing the two of them in a way that leaves everyone happy, or will I be a spaz and blind to the reality of the situation.

Right now they love each other very much.  I hope I will be able to keep the balance so they continuing loving each other the rest of their lives.  (I'm getting all sobby now, I really suck today- sorry)


1 comment:

  1. I understand your fear. So far I only have one to worry about, but maybe God has in his plans to give us another child.

    My thought is that just by thinking about finding that balance you are doing a great job. Z will love her brother. I am sure there will be resentment at times, but that is typical of all brothers and sisters...isnt' it?



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