Thursday, April 26, 2012


So today/yesterday (It all melds together for me...) was rough.

Bub woke up screaming at 2am, I helped him get back to sleep, then I couldn't sleep, and Zbug got up around 4 w/ a monster poop.  But at least she didn't decide to strip and smear.  I call that a good night.  I only think she does that because she has seen Bub do it.  She so loves to imitate all the behaviors I'd rather she didn't.

then while finishing up the morning getting ready to go to school routine, I get a call from my family, and end up driving my nieces and Bub to school so my Sister-in-law can get Joe's brother to the hospital.

Then I went to the hospital to give my family some support and encouragement.

then I made dinner for my MIL and nieces so my sister-in-law wouldn't have to worry about the mundane things in life and focus on her husband...who is stable currently.

I crashed around 5pm, and woke up around midnight.  Bub is awake.  I gave him his Ipad and I hope it will lull him to sleep the same way it lulls me to sleep (When I can pry it from his sleeping fingers...)

At some point I took Z out in the backyard to play, which she loved, and gave her a popsicle afterwards.  She knew something was up today because I kept leaving and coming back, and she didn't get to go to the healthy hideaway.

I'm kind of still reeling from all this.  My brother-in-law is the oldest one in Joe's extended family, and he's only 2 years younger than my sister, and my sister already has a major medical diagnosis.  Joe and I are only 2 years younger than him.  I keep thinking: when did we all start getting old enough to have these things happen?  I still have a hard time believing I'm really 38.  that in some ways still seems like an imaginary number that will never really happen.

So now I'm up, doing the housework I had planned on doing during the day.  I have a staff meeting before my shift starts today and somehow I need to get a few more sleep hours before that starts.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012


you know what cracks me up in a way that makes me kinda want to cry?

When I'm on facebook and one of my fellow autie-moms posts about a particular challenging behavior, and all the other autie-moms chime in because we deal with it/have dealt with it.

then you see the comment from the "coworker's son" friend.  and at least they are trying to understand

then you look at all the other postings from your friends who have neurotypical kids.  and all you see is a huge gulf in realities.

I have no point other than that.  I guess I'm just tired this week.

Monday, April 02, 2012

bad week part 2

well, this is what happens after I post embarrassing pictures of our home:

Like my excellent friend Angela says...."I can do anything for 5 min."

I miss her.  :(

and just now my PRN job asked me if I could come in for a day shift, but I work tonight, so I had to say no.  I miss my little peepers at my PRN job, their little smiles and habits.  sniff.  but I get to be there on the 21st so I have that to look forward to.  :)

nite again.  nubs

bad week

well, this was an "ice-cream w/ cherry on top" week. well, no; not really.

I picked up a bug from work last weekend, I have two prime suspects in mind, and am fairly sure what I had, neither requiring antibiotics, merely time flat on my back in bed since monday...time I really didn't have to be flat on my back in bed.  But there I was in bed feeling like a ton of bricks landed on me.  Meanwhile, we find out on Monday that Bub has grown/developed/advanced enough that he doesn't "Need" summer school.  Yayee for Bub, but boo for me and Joe.

We are freaking out.  what the eff are we going to do for 3 months?  no horse riding all summer.... no school... no little friends to expect to see...  no bus ride...  no packing lunches/breakfasts in the am w/ momma... no ritual of getting the backpack and jumpsuit... more...

so I'm in bed half dead and freaking out.  Joe is struggling to occupy a very intent on being contrary Zber, and a Bub who misses seeing momma doing the momma stuff around the house.  I stayed in my room so they wouldn't get sick from kissing on me.  It seems to have worked. so the house is a disaster.

Living room before I got sick

Kitchen before I got sick

Living room Saturday nite

Living room saturday nite

Kitchen saturday nite

I worked Saturday night, and wasn't tired this morning yet, so I tackled the dishes and made french toast.  Joe helped get the kids dressed for church and we went.  disaster.  we made it 1 hour into the service.

Bub was angry that Grandma didn't bring HER Ipad...his wasn't good enough. (Grandma didn't think we would make it since I worked last nite)  Z didn't want to sit still, and kept screaming "no" at every attempt to do something quiet.  Joe was not feeling well.  I had been up for 21 hrs at that point.  we left.  didn't have the power to keep at it.  neither the packet of starburst Grandma fed Bub nor the sensory soothers I was doing to Bub seemed to be helping, and Z was jealous both of us were focusing on keeping Bub from crying/screaming.  So we left church.  All I can say is, I really tried.

I stayed up until 4 today so Joe could start on mowing the lawn, it's been so rainy (thank God for the rain!!!) that he hasn't been able to get to it, and we have a wilderness on our lot that I am heartily ashamed of.  It was so bad that Joe decided to borrow his parent's tractor mower rather than even attempt it w/ our push mower.  well, a belt broke just as he finished the front lawn, so tomorrow while I sleep, he will be purchasing a new belt and attempting to fix it so he can finish the lawn...but in the meantime we are forcasted for more rain in the next day or two.  So the wilderness continues.

My hope of starting a container garden this week will have to wait until at least Thursday.    meanwhile, maybe I can get the house back up to snuff.  maybe. 

I passed out around 4pm today, and got up around 11pm.  Now I'm just trying to motivate myself to NOT go to the 24 hr Whataburger and stay home and start cooking some stuff so Joe can feed the kiddos some good food for the next two days I work and not feed the kids nuggets and hotdogs.  lol    But I really want a cheeseburger and onion rings.  I really suck.  lol

Nite, here's hoping for a better week.  :)  At least I got the kitchen cleaned up this morning. 



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