Wednesday, June 01, 2011

stubborn bub

My poor poor kid.  He's got an overdose of stubbornness from both me and Joe...We just spent the last hour convincing him to take his herbal supplement (that is nominally helping- for now).  Then when he decided to take it, he tried to get more than he should.  all or's crazy-making.

He seems to be back on to environmental art again.  here is his latest creation

To be honest tho, today was a really bad day.  and I hear the doubters saying "All kids have bad days"

Yeah, all kids have bad days, but not like this.  Not when it's a bad day w/ stims and self-abuses, and obsessions, and rituals.  Sometimes when people tell me "it sounds like pretty typical behavior for a 6 y/o", I want to punch them in the face.  I GREATLY edit what I tell people about the bad days, even the people who know Bub really well, because they either won't believe me and think I'm exaggerating, or they will give me the "f***, this chick is away"- look.  yes it is a specific look....I bet you have it on your face right now.

QUICK get a mirror and look so you know what I am talking about.

Convincing your child that he can't bring his pennies to the livingroom b/c they will be ingested by his little baby sister is hard enough when they understand you, add not sure if you are being understood in the mix, then add his irrational obsession to bring them into the livingroom even tho Momma is threatening to take away the said pennies, add to that Momma took them away to protect the baby.

Sometimes, the way he acts when I have to take away his latest ritual-obsession makes me think of an addict that can't get his next fix and is freaking out to find/get what will make the withdrawal pain away.  great, to protect the baby, I'm making my poor boy go thru penny-DTs. 

that actually kinda made me laugh in a defeated kind of way.

and what is really frustrating is that not even an hour before this started he was being SO good.  he wanted to help me cook, so I let him "help" me cut the greenbeans and onions that I was cooking for lunch.  and after a brief refusal of lunch (I gave him his favorites, not what the rest of us ate)  and he did eat his hotdog, applesauce and noodlies, and spent a good 45 min with me writing the alphabet and numbers.  He even copied a smiley face that I drew.  He's NEVER drawn a face that doesn't look like a clown about to have a sucking contest with a vacuum cleaner before.

after we got both of the kiddos to bed, Joe and I just sat outside for awhile, shellshocked.  I keep telling myself it will be better, it has been better, it HAS to get better.  I'm having a hard time believing myself today.


  1. Nina I probably never told you about the reality of living with my twin brothers. Early on they were diagnosed as autistic, which later changed to severe ADHD with some terrible OCD's. My 2 year old Niece Hayden has a chromosome disorder that has many autistic tendencies(I am her current daycare). I have lived with some of the challenges you speak of yet I have never been where you are!!!! Our good Lord has blessed you and Joe with Bub. "For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord!!! Keep on keeping on!!!!! I absolutely love the photo of the pennies! Any chance to get a glimpse inside of Bub's beautiful mind is amazing. Thank you for sharing.


  2. You did share that with me. I remember you were fiercely protective of them, even the very few times you told me about some of their behaviors, and I've often wondered since Zbear came along what it was like for you & your sister.
    Thank you for the encouragement, sometimes hope seems like water rolling off a duck's back around here.
    Love you too Shell



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