If I haven't mentioned it yet (I get this and my FB postings confused sometimes), Joe and I converted our overlarge walkin closet into Zbear's new room. It is awesome. She doesn't wake up around 3-4am anymore because either Joe or I snorked loudly in our sleep (to be honest...it's prolly ME that wakes her up...I am a wrecking ball when I sleep....Joe occasionally has to run away to the couch cuz I'm all over the place....)
Well, she just loves her new room, she likes to play in there by herself...Bub keeps trying to sneak into her room and steal the toys we have decided to make exclusively for Zbear. Bub has toys he WILL NOT SHARE. EVER. TOUCH ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE HIT. yeah. yayee autism OCD rituals based on toys. Joe and I want to be equitable w/ our kids. We will never be fair. It will always be impossible to be fair when their needs and levels of expectations will always be SO incredibly different. (I will not kid myself about the differences in my kids...not gonna do it...) So to be equitable, we have decided Z will have 2 or 3 toys that stay in her room, and that Bub can't play with unless she brings it out of her room for him to play with.
Now this resolve is kinda hard, because Bub and Z are starting to enjoy the same kinds of toys, but in different ways. Bub still really enjoys toys appropriate for 18+ months, but then he also enjoys toys appropriate for his our age group (7 y/o), but he still has some toys from when he was 2 y/o that he will not let go...they are too important to him, the elaborations he sets up with them are too ingrained into his self-ness, I have replaced these toys several times w/ exact replicas as they got loved-on too hard (or covered in poo...sometimes cleaning is not a viable option.....) So he's grabbing her age appropriate toys and doing his elaboration thing with them, Z is not getting what he is doing and does her deconstructionist act on his elaboration which then ends in multiple kids crying, small toddlers being picked up haphazardly and bounced on the couch, and a 7 y/o banging some portion of his body against the wall. We like to avoid these activities when possible.... So we pretty much keep special toys in the appropriate rooms and have only generic non-attachment formed toys out in the living room and attempt to keep the siblings out of the other's room. Not an easy task. Sometimes Bub wants Z in his room, but then he changes him mind abruptly and she gets upset when he's pushing her out.
we stay busy while they are awake....can you tell? But so far the new room for Z is working out splendidly. We have a child-free bedroom once more and are pretty happy about it.
Happy December! Nubs
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