Sunday, July 24, 2011

oops & more on parenting austim

I have woefully neglected my blogging.  sorries.

I'm half heartedly watching "The Proposal" w/ Sandra Bullock and Betty White.  So I'm sitting there on my couch watching this, and we get to the scene where Andrew is having a heart to heart with his dad by the shore. they are "arguing" about Andrew's choice of direction of life, which is not what his father wanted him to do...his father wanted him to continue his legacy.  Even in this short scene it is obvious that this was the father's life dream for his son.  And, being a 20-something post gen-X stereotypical man, Andrew was upset that his father couldn't understand his life choices or maybe that his father didn't want to accept his life choices.

and I immediately realized, I no longer identify with the Andrew character.  This is kind of shocking to me.  I was identifying with the father.  my next thought was something to the effect, "you know, I'm actually really glad I won't ever have that conversation w/ Bub, even if we are blessed enough to ever have that kind of conversation this side of heaven, because I gave up all those kind of dreams for him when I got his diagnosis of autism"

then I started crying.  It's not that I don't have dreams and hopes for him, it's that I realized it's not reality to think I'll ever get him to be a soprano in an all boys choir...or that he'll  be some big professional of his choosing.  or anything that most parents think and wish for their kids.  My dream is just to help him be the best he can be, and that Joe and I have the wisdom AND patience to help him achieve what he wants to achieve.

Bub lost his 3rd tooth- AND I actually found it!  A first for us!
See how weird I am?  I take a normal blah scene from a B-movie and turn it into a metacrisis of identity of myself.  I think bedtime is in order with a dose of benedryl.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...